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There are three types of unattractive people.
The first, those who just feel unattractive in their heads. This is when factors like low self-esteem or unfair comparison cause a distorted sense of who you are and makes you look down on yourself.
Sometimes people are unattractive because of their terrible attitude. And no matter how good-looking you are, if your character irritates people, they’ll see you as unattractive.
And then there’s a third group of people who are just physically unattractive. These are people who have facial features or certain aspects of themselves that most people don’t consider attractive.
The good news is that whichever group you find yourself in, there are great ways to turn things around for yourself. And in this article, I’ll talk about the signs alongside things you can do to reverse them and make yourself more attractive. Let’s dive in.
1. A lack of self-confidence can make you unattractive
Self-confidence is one of the most universal traits people consider attractive. And this revelation says a lot about human psychology.
The most important reason why self-confidence makes you so attractive is that people tend to see you through your eyes. Even if you’re not so good-looking, but you act in a way that speaks self-belief, people will wonder what makes you so relaxed and assured of yourself.
It’s just how the human psyche works.
And conversely, attractive people who behave like they don’t believe in themselves suddenly become off-putting. Why? People look at you through your eyes.
If you don’t think you’re good enough, no one will.
What do you do about it?
Start being more intentional about the self-image you project to people. Always ask yourself, does the way I’m talking, walking, or sitting make me appear as someone who believes in himself? What will people think when they see me like this?
Also, form the habit of observing those who are attractive around you. Watch how they carry themselves, from the way they talk, walk, sit, etc. Learn from their mannerisms.
2. Neediness
No one likes needy people.
Even the most good-looking man or woman becomes off-putting to you when they’re constantly looking for your attention and validation.
We like independent people who don’t need us to make their lives meaningful. We want to be a part of the stories of those who are having an amazing life, not those who want to cling to us by all means because they’re too afraid to be by themselves.
The more we depend on others to survive, the less they’re drawn to us.
And this is because something always available will soon lose its value.
Humans are wired to put more value on scarce resources.
What do you do about it?
If you’re often needy, it could be because you don’t understand how it’s affecting how people see you. You’re most likely clinging to people out of impulse.
Learn to deliberately step back and also let people come to you. Build the habit of spending time alone and enjoying your own company. Every needy person has the foundation of depending too much on others to feel good about themselves.
Related: 6 Tiny Habits That Make You Unattractive
3. Wearing ill-fitting outfits
I’ve seen people get transformed from average looking to outright astonishing by just changing their outfits.
There are only a few people in this world that will rock any type of outfit you give to them. For most of us, we have to learn to understand what works for us.
Some people are just unattractive because they are lazy about finding out the fashion style that works for them. You’ll see some men wear baggy jeans or shoes that don’t fit their kind of person.
This is an easily avoidable mistake that may be costing you less attractive.
What to do about it
Think of days when you wore an outfit that you absolutely rocked. You felt more confident, you got more compliments and eyes were on you.
Think about what you did differently. More importantly, think about clothing styles that make you feel comfortable and bold. Do more of that.
4. Low self-esteem
Low self-esteem will make you behave in off-putting ways.
You’ll find it difficult to make eye contact. You’ll hide in social interactions, slouch your back when you sit, take little space, and find it difficult to speak with confidence. You won’t believe in yourself.
Low self-esteem can even make people hide attractive qualities in themselves because they’re too afraid to be noticed.
And once people see these symptoms in you, they won’t be drawn to you.
What to do about it.
There’s always a reason why people have low self-esteem. It could be childhood issues from parents or guardians who never believed in you. Or, it could just be a result of crappy friends and a poor self-image.
Whatever the reason is, find it and meditate on it. And think of possible solutions to get your self-confidence back.
5. Self-centredness
Self-centered people can’t help themselves. It’s difficult for them to ever make any real friends. This is because the more they demonstrate their self-centered behavior, the more you’ll find it difficult to stand them.
One thing about humans is that we find people more charming based on how they make us feel. But self-centered people don’t mind making others feel crappy if it makes them feel good.
They don’t mind telling a joke at your expense to make themselves feel better.
This is the hallmark of off-putting behaviors.
What to do about it
If you’re a self-centered person, you may enjoy stepping on people to get your way. But understand that you’re silently breeding resentment in people. Even those who are close to you may not be able to stand you in the long run.
The only way out is to change. Learn to put others first. Stop putting yourself and your needs above everyone else’s.
6. Lack of proper hygiene makes you unattractive
Bad breath, dry, rough skin, dirty nails, rough hair, squeezed clothes, etc., scream to people that you don’t care about yourself.
First of all, the mere presence of this evidence makes you instantly unattractive. But what’s worse is that poor hygiene is often linked to bad smells. And according to studies, no matter how good-looking you are, people tend to feel terrible in your presence when you have bad hygiene.
What do about it
It’s pretty straightforward. Start taking care of yourself.
Most people have bad hygiene simply because they’re lazy.
Find ways to motivate yourself. Get out of bed in the mornings and plan your day. Find hobbies that you like to spice your day. When you feel happy about your life, you’ll naturally be motivated to also take care of yourself.
Also read: 6 Signs You’re Secretly Attractive to Other People
7. Taking yourself too seriously
People who take themselves too seriously tend to be unattractive because they’re boring.
When you’re around them, you waste mental energy trying to not annoy them. They’re too afraid to be vulnerable that they can’t take a joke. And just a harmless comment about something related to them is enough to set them off.
This tendency to take oneself too seriously is often born out of a deeper insecurity — the need to always uphold a perfect image of oneself. These are often people who have a fragile sense of self.
What to do about it
If you take yourself too seriously, learn to loosen up. Stop taking harmless jokes as a personal attack. Not everyone is out to get you. Once in a while, make a joke about yourself and laugh about it. It will make people much freer in your presence.
8. Being talkative can make you less attractive
People who talk too much often come off as immature.
The talkative has no self-control. And they leave nothing for people to wonder or imagine about them.
They may be exciting at first, but soon, they’ll become boring. This is why Robert Greene recommended in The 48 Laws of Power that if you want to be seen as powerful, always say less than necessary.
People who are calm and quiet usually come off as mysterious. And when people can’t figure you out, they become more interested in you.
On the other hand, the more you talk, the more banal and common you’ll appear.
What to do about it
If you talk too much, start practicing the habit of staying in the background and just observing those around you. You’ll notice how their reaction towards you will change. As time goes on, people will become more interested in you.
This doesn’t mean that people who know how to talk are always unattractive. In fact, being able to express yourself is also one of the most attractive traits. But you shouldn’t have a running mouth all the time. Know when to step back and be quiet.
9. You lack boundaries
People who are too afraid of having boundaries care too much about being liked. They think if they let people walk all over them, they’ll be accepted. But in reality, this isn’t the case.
The hard truth is that when you let people walk over you, you tell them that you don’t think of yourself as important. And no one wants to associate with you if you don’t think you’re important enough to have boundaries.
Sure, they’ll come to you when they need someone to take from. But when it comes to admiration, you won’t be in the picture. This is one of the reasons nice guys finish last.
To be attractive to someone, you have to be able to make them feel something. You need to be a challenge in some way. If you’re someone they can just walk over, you become negligible.
What to do about it
Learn to speak up and stand your ground when you feel someone is violating your boundaries. If they stop being friends with you because you stood up for yourself, it means they were never your friends anyway.
10. Why arrogance makes you unattractive
When you behave like you’re better than everyone else, people become invested in proving to you that you’re not. You become a threat, an enemy they want to defeat. This is why arrogance isn’t charming.
But the other tricky thing about arrogance is that arrogant people rarely think they are arrogant. Instead, they think they have self-confidence or high self-esteem. But the difference is that an arrogant person doesn’t mind putting other people down to feel good.
Self-confidence comes from a place of self-belief. Arrogance comes from a fragile sense of self.
What to do about it
Every arrogant person never thinks they are. So the first step is recognizing that you have this shortcoming. Learn to stop looking down on others. Instead, uplift them. Even when you meet people you think you’re better than, have some empathy. Lift them instead of putting them down. People will find you more attractive.
Interesting: 16 Psychological Tricks That Will Make Him Miss You
11. Bad breath
No one likes to interact with someone who has bad breath. It’s the height of poor hygiene.
No matter how good-looking you are, once someone realizes your breath is bad, you suddenly become uninteresting.
What to do about it
Learn oral hygiene. Brush regularly, preferably morning and night. You can also get a mouthwash product that makes your breath smell fresh for longer.
12. You don’t take care of your hair
Hair is one of the most important things that determine how good-looking you are.
I’ve come across a lot of people who instantly went from average-looking to incredibly beautiful and handsome just because of a change in hairstyle.
If you don’t take care of your hair at all, you’ll pass the message that you don’t care very much about how you come across to other people.
What to about it
Pay attention to your hair. The hairstyle that will soothe you the most is the one that works with your facial structure. Having the right hairstyle can help you emphasize or hide certain facial features like your ears, eyes, nose, forehead, etc. The right hairstyle can work wonders for your appearance.
13. Being overweight
Not to body shame anyone, but we’ve all seen transformation pictures of people who went from being overweight to being in shape. It’s almost like they turned into someone else after they lost weight.
Having too much fat on your body has a lot of disadvantages. Besides the health effects, it causes you to be out of shape. And when it comes to looks, your shape, and your face are the most important factors.
What to do about it
As you would expect, the only thing you can do when you’re overweight is to lose weight. It’s difficult, but it’s the only way.
14. Why being boring makes you unattractive
Being boring doesn’t mean you don’t know how to talk. Neither is it about not having a sense of humor. No.
A boring person is someone who isn’t interesting in any way. In a relationship, they don’t challenge their partner. With friends, they are never confrontational or bold. They simply fade into the background where no one will notice them.
Boring people don’t have anything they’re passionate about. They live a typically uninteresting life. This is what it means to be a boring person.
What to do about it
Stop playing it so safe.
Learn to speak up. Say daring things sometimes. Learn a skill. Pursue a passion. You stop being boring once you do interesting things with your life. And when people see how interesting your life is, they’ll want to be a part of it.
15. Rudeness
No one knows how to make unnecessary enemies more than rude people. They say the wrong things at the wrong time to the wrong people. They think they’re being tough, but they’re just being foolish. As Arthur Schopenhauer once wrote,
“To make enemies by unnecessary and willful incivility is just as insane a proceeding as to set your house on fire.”
Attractive people know how to control themselves. They handle conflicts wisely. They never make enemies or manifest themselves in bad light unnecessarily.
What to do about it
If you’re a rude person, you probably enjoy being the tough guy or girl. But in reality, you’re just pushing people away from yourself. If you want to be more attractive, learn to be civil. Only show your dark side when it’s absolutely necessary.
Read: 6 Behaviors Women Mistakenly Believe Attracts Men
16. You’re always a busybody
Calmness shows maturity.
There’s nothing wrong with being extroverted, but even an extrovert who is always talking to everyone about everything will soon appear immature to those around him.
Your immaturity will show in how you don’t have self-control in public. Whenever you come across the opposite sex, you lost control of yourself. Someone tells you a secret and it won’t be long before another person hears it.
Busybodies show a level of immaturity that’s off-putting.
What to do about it
Learn to be calm. Once in a while, breathe slowly, sit still with your shoulders back and your legs crossed, and just observe those around you.
More Signs Someone is Unattractive
17. Gossiping about others
People who gossip never really have friends. Why?
If you’re wise, you’ll never trust someone who talks trash about someone else. This is because we know that they talk trash about someone else to you, it’s just about time before they talk trash about you to someone else.
That’s just how it is.
This is why gossipers are so off-putting — besides the fact that they’re always carrying bad news about others. Most people want to just stay away from them.
Gossiping also makes you seem immature. No one that has serious things to do with their lives just goes around gossiping about others. Mature people have serious things to do with their lives.
What to do about it
Stop gossiping about others. Control the urge to trash-talk others to feel better about yourself. Even if no one tells you to your face that you have a horrible habit, it doesn’t mean that they like it for one minute.
18. Laziness makes you unattractive
This may seem weird, but being lazy can make you less attractive.
According to psychologist Lawrence Joseph, Ph.D. the bottom line is that lazy people are so uninspiring that people find them off-putting.
Think about it.
One of the reasons why they are so drawn to celebrities is because they represent success. The life of glamor and luxury that they live inspires us to think we can also be like them. But lazy people represent the opposite.
When we see them, we see the kind of person we don’t want to be.
What to do about it
Start getting things done. Learn skills, take care of yourself, get fit, and groom yourself. The idea is to leave a life that people will feel inspired by, not one that will make you seem like you’re afraid to take control of your life.
19. Poor body language
Your body language determines to a large extent how people see you.
Even when you don’t have the best facial appearance, great body language can make you look confident and charismatic.
Conversely, poor body language can make you look anxious, insecure, afraid, unsure, etc. And when you maintain poor body language for too long, it can register as a part of your identity.
What to do about it
Start by observing your body language. Do you usually have the right posture? Think about how different body postures make you appear to people. Someone who’s relaxed with shoulders back and legs crossed naturally comes off as calmer and more powerful.
20. Constant negativity can make you unattractive
Once you come across someone who looks at the world through a negative lens, it’s almost like nothing else matters. Not their looks or their shape. All you want to do is get away from them.
They suck the last hope and energy you have in you. It’s difficult to see someone as attractive when they’re too negative.
What to do about it
If you have a habit of always being negative, it’s probably out of impulse. You feel the need to pour out your frustrations on other people because that’s what’s always on your mind.
But the truth is that everyone already has too much of the bitter reality of life. People are looking for someone that will draw them out of the banal and hard reality of everyday life. This is why we like fiction.
Learn to remove negativity from your discussions. Whenever you feel the urge to vent about the terrible reality of life, remember that people don’t really want to be reminded of it. Rather, they want to be taken out of it.
Also read: 8 Easy Habits That Make You More Attractive
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