Did you know that the lack of emotional attraction towards the person you’re in a relationship spells doom for the relationship? Research shows that the lack of emotional connection is one of the leading causes of divorce.
Emotional attraction is probably not as talked about as physical and sexual attraction. It could be because physical and sexual attraction is easier to detect while emotional attraction takes an effort of talking to a person and getting to know them beyond what you can see.
Healthline defines emotional attraction as the ability to want to be emotionally present with another person. This type of attraction is focused more on connection to another’s mind and personality.
Physical attraction is important. However, it is not enough to keep a relationship together; it might keep a sexual attraction alive, but the glue that holds people together is emotional connection.
So how do you know if someone is emotionally attracted to you?
Here are five signs to help you.
1. They get you
So I have this friend, he knows I love tea. Not only that, but he also knows I have happy-tea and sad-tea days.
Happy tea is made with milk and sweeteners, sad tea is not. The first time I explained it to him, he did not think it was weird; he just got it. And since then, anytime I hang with him after work, he knows if it’s a happy or sad-tea day based on how I talk about my day.
And now you think this is weird, but my friend gets me.
Someone who is emotionally attracted to you gets you. Your weirdness, coolness, everything. You could communicate with just a look, one word, or even an emoji.
When someone is emotionally attracted to you, they join you to be excited about the things that excite you, and if someone makes you mad, they vent with you and plan your revenge. Not literally, but you know what I mean.
Read: 8 Signs Someone Doesn’t Find You Attractive Enough to Date You
2. They are not afraid to be vulnerable with you
They say misery loves company, but I say misery brings people closer together. If only we are bold enough to be open about the things that make us miserable.
One thing about people who are emotionally attracted to you, they will be vulnerable with you. They will open up to you about their fears, mistakes, and worries, knowing that you will not judge them.
Brené Brown says, “We can measure how brave you are by how vulnerable you’re willing to be”, yet it takes us feeling safe with someone to enable us to open up to them.
You can tell how someone feels about you if they are brave enough to be vulnerable with you despite the fear of being judged.
3. There’s a sense of trust
Once in a while, you meet someone in life, and you just feel like they are so open towards you and unafraid to bare their souls to you. They trust you with small and big things, don’t hold back, and are honest with you.
Trust is a vital tool in relationships. The Gottman Institute describes trust as one of the ways couples can rebuild their relationship when there is a breakdown. This implies that trust is the foundation for any relationship or friendship.
When you meet someone who values your opinion and your concerns, is comfortable with you, believes you, and knows you won’t hurt them, it is a sign that they trust you.
Someone who is emotionally attracted to you can talk to you about everything or anything. You’re the first they call when they have news, whether good or bad. And the best part about communicating with them is that you can talk on and on for hours without realizing that time is flying by.
Interesting: 4 Simple Changes That Will Make You More Attractive
4. They are not so caught up in your physical attraction
We’ve all met people who don’t miss an opportunity to talk about how drawn they are to us physically. They make it obvious that they are attracted to our bodies, more than anything else.
Research shows that physical attraction is important in romantic relationships. But emotional attraction is not connected to your physical appearance, and someone may be emotionally attracted to you regardless of how you look.
When you meet someone who connects with your heart and soul more than they are concerned about your looks, you can tell by how they share their life with you and want to know more about you. They ask meaningful questions and seek to understand your values.
Emotional attraction is not superficial or shallow.
Imagine meeting someone whom you find attractive physically and have no emotional connection to.
5. They accept you for who you are
I once dated a guy who thought I was too melancholic, and so he tried to make me into a happy-go-lucky person. Anyone who meets me for just a few minutes can tell I am not a happy-go-lucky girl. I am a planner, an overthinker, and melancholic, and even when I’m at my happiest, you can’t really tell.
All I really wanted was for this guy to try and understand my temperaments and accept me just as I am.
If a person accepts you for who you are and appreciates that you are different from everyone else, but you are just as impressive, that might be a sign that they’re emotionally attracted to you.
The point is not to resist feedback on how you can change certain aspects of your life, but if a person is constantly trying to turn you into someone you are not, they don’t accept you for who you are.
If they are emotionally attracted to you, they will accept you as you are, flaws and all.
Bringing it all together
Emotional attraction does not necessarily always lead to sexual or romantic relationships, but it is a needed ingredient to have a lasting romantic relationship.
Emotional attraction can also occur between people who are not romantically involved with each other. You can feel truly seen and heard by someone other than your romantic partner.
Read: 6 Small Things That Say A Lot About Someone’s Character