Growth Lodge

The first rule when it comes to texting women is to always be straightforward.

Here’s a simple truth: From the moment you exchanged numbers with her, she already knew you wanted to hang out and have a good time.

If you decide to wait two days or a week before contacting her, thinking she’ll be filled with excitement when she hears from you, you’re simply delaying the inevitable. Besides, from the time you got her contact info, to the time you eventually contact her, she would have probably talked to three to five guys.

Most guys unknowingly push themselves into the friend zone or become text buddies because they initially play around and keep things too casual. They assume if they send her pictures, memes, and laughing emojis, she’ll find them more likable. But this approach usually just turns you into a text buddy.

When you’re direct, you cut out a lot of headaches and confusion. You’ll know earlier on whether or not she’s interested.

Always have a plan. Make your move early so you can know if she’s into you or not. This is the first rule that most men get wrong. Here are seven other things to bear in mind.

The danger of overexcitement

After setting up the time, place, and date with a woman, go ghost.

Here’s the mistake a lot of guys make with texting: They chat up a girl they just met and they set a time and place. The girl agrees to meet, everyone’s happy. Nice and sweet.

But then, out of excitement, they then go on to text the girl throughout that day, and then the next, until the day they are going out. And then suddenly, the girl’s no longer interested. She cancels, then the guy begins to wonder what the hell just happened.

Here’s the thing: Ladies, especially the ones who don’t know you yet, are fragile and easy to put off balance.

Let’s say you just met a woman today, Wednesday, and you agree to meet up on Saturday to get to know each other better. And all through Wednesday to Saturday, you keep texting her, it’s very easy for her to misinterpret you on the text and just go flaky on you. Remember she’s never met you in person. She’s not in front of you, and she can’t really read your vibe. When you say something she doesn’t like, she will ghost you.

Learn to say less than necessary: Law 4 of The 48 Laws of Power

Your first date is supposed to be the perfect time for her to understand your vibe.

However, this doesn’t mean that you text her 2 hours to your date and ask her if she’s still meeting up. Text her 16 to 24 hours before to know she’s still on for the date.

The underrated exclamation mark!

Women care about your vibe. There’s a huge difference between “Hey, what are you up to?” and “Hey! What are you up to?”

When you’re texting, try using exclamation points whenever it’s necessary. This doesn’t seem like much, but we all love it more when we feel the person we are chatting with is excited to text us back. We tend to respond faster.

Don’t act busy, be busy

Women love busy men because being busy communicates high value.

But what many guys do is that they fake being busy. So when a girl texts them, they just eagerly wait for some time before they reply.

But this strategy rarely works. Why? Even though you can fake being busy, there’s still a huge difference between being actually busy and just taking some time to reply to text messages. And unluckily for most guys, women have a sixth sense to detect this.

If you’re actually busy during the day, when she texts you, you wouldn’t just wait only to eagerly replay her text and quickly ask her to hang out. That’s obviously fake business.

For a truly busy guy, when you’re woman texts you, “Hey, how is it going?” at 11 am, you can reply by 5 pm when you get off work and go, “Hey! Just got off work, I’m heading to the gym.” This is how you communicate high value.

When you don’t quickly jump into hanging after taking a while to reply to her, she knows you’re truly busy.

Double texting

Women know how to communicate. A woman who is truly interested in you will naturally want to keep your conversations flowing. Don’t make the mistake of texting her over and over or writing a long paragraph just to get her attention.

When it comes to seduction, less is more.

If she wants to see you, she will double text you. But you double texting her conveys neediness. Women want guys who are independent of them. When you double text her, you’re communicating low value, neediness, and dependence.

How to get her to hang out

The goal after meeting a woman and getting her phone number is to get her to meet you in person. But the hard truth is that a lot of guys are confused about how to set up a first date with a woman.

What you don’t want to do in this scenario is to text her straight up, “Hey, when are you free?” She might give a vague reply like, “Not this week.”

Narrow it down. Get straight to the point and be direct. Instead of asking her if she’s free, go about the conversation like this: “Hey! Do you like…?”

For instance, if you want her to come over, have some wine and watch a movie with you, go about your texting like, “Hey! Do you like red or white wine?” She might answer, “I like red wine.” Cool.

You can then proceed to ask her “What type of movies do you like?”

Maybe she likes scary thrillers, mystery, horror, or comedy. Then you can now go, “Cool, I have some shows and movies you’ll like and I also have some red wine too.”

Now you can ask her, “Do you have any plans for Friday or Sunday?”

Make sure you’re setting up the meeting within seven days. Remember she’s probably talking to other guys every day. If you take too long and she meets another guy she likes within those days, she’ll probably forget about your plans. If, for instance, today is Wednesday, ask her if she has any plans for Friday or Sunday.

Overquestioning

A lot of us guys feel when they chat with a girl on text, they have to keep the conversation going forever. They feel if it’s too short, then they’ve failed.

But the truth is, it’s better and much more seductive to just have a short interesting conversation with someone instead of boring them with needless questions over and over just to keep your conversation alive. It makes you come off as nosy and boring.

Remember, a basic rule of seduction is to always leave your target wanting more. As law 4 of Robert Greene’s 48 Laws of Power reads,

“Always say less than necessary… The more you say, the likely you are to say something foolish.”

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Try not to overthink or overanalyze every single text that you send to a girl. Texting is supposed to be a fun thing between two people, not a huge essay back and forth.

Sometimes when we text someone and they’re too much taking the time to reply, we freak out. We start assuming that we’ve probably written something that we shouldn’t have written. This is perfectionism.

Here’s a hard truth: If you text a girl and sit back minutes or hours later freaking out, wondering if you’ve said something wrong because she didn’t reply on time, you need to get a life. Guys who are busy getting things done don’t bother about the text they send to girls. They also don’t have time to double text when a girl didn’t reply to their first message.