Women are attracted to everything they are not. This is why if you’re always acting needy, seeking her validation and attention like you don’t have anything else going on for you, she’s going to start acting busy.
The feminine gender is naturally more caring. This is why they dominate professions like nursing. Men, on the other hand, dominate a profession like engineering where more attention is put on things, not humans.
In other words, when you start playing the feminine role, looking for too much care and validation, women get turned off by you. Why? Now they have to play the masculine role with you ―act busy and sometimes cold. Women need a guy who will balance out their flaws. This is precisely why they find confident and high-value men attractive. That said, here are seven signs of male insecurity most women find off-putting.
Closing your soul window
Most people say that not maintaining eye contact shows a lack of confidence, and it’s true. But it goes much deeper than that. Paulo Coelho came closer to the true significance of making eye contact when he said in The Alchemist, “the eyes are the window to the soul.”
The thing is, even when you are good at making eye contact, people can quickly tell the kind of person you are by looking straight into your eyes. And sometimes what they find isn’t going to be appealing.
Some eyes will give off deceit, some lack confidence, some disrespect, others ego, etc. Hence, it’s understandable why some people would rather not look anyone in the eyes. They feel it’s too much exposure. And they’re not sure what people will find in them if they let them look freely for too long.
In a nutshell, when your eyes wander around in conversations, afraid to let people in, it shows you’re unsure of yourself. The best thing to do therefore isn’t to just learn to look people in the eye. Get yourself together so that you don’t have anything to hide from people.
The defeat mindset
A lot of guys have a defeat mindset. For some reason, before they even talk to a woman, they feel she will not like “a guy like them”. They assume they are too short, too broke, or too tall, so they talk themselves out of interacting with beautiful women.
But what they don’t understand is that women sense it when a man doesn’t feel he’s up to her standard. Even if you can muster the courage to go talk to her, she’ll most likely still sense your insecurity.
You have to believe in yourself. Feed yourself with positive things. You have to believe in yourself. You can be 5’5, 6’5, or 7’5, it doesn’t matter. Believe that women will be happy to be in your presence. We are constantly creating the reality of our experience by how we think of ourselves.
Assuming she’s going to turn you down
Some guys approach a woman assuming she’s going to turn them down. For instance, they might send her a text like “Hey! Do you want to hang out tomorrow? But if you’re busy and don’t want to come, that’s okay.” They give her a way out because they’re not sure she’ll say yes in the first place. And most women will sense the insecurity in this statement. And this alone is enough to make her turn you down already.
Never assume that a woman will not want to hang out with you. Be direct in your approach, like you know she wants to hang out with you. Your energy and your level of self-confidence will make her want to see what you have planned out for her.
The insecure control freak
Some guys are extremely insecure. And usually, this is because they don’t think they deserve the women they are with. Hence, they feel they have to always guard her so that no one will take her from them.
But a hard truth control freaks don’t understand is this: If a woman wants to go out with other guys, there’s nothing you can do about it. In fact, being overprotective will most likely have the opposite effect on her. Trying to always know where she goes or what she’s doing or searching through her phone displays insecurity. It shows how terrified you are of losing her.
And your insecurity will take a toll on you. Whenever she goes out with or talks to other guys and you find out, you’ll break down emotionally.
Double texting/asking her out twice
A rule of thumb when it comes to interacting with a woman is to avoid texting her a second time because you feel she didn’t reply to your first text quickly enough. Some guys even double text because they feel the reason she didn’t reply the first was because they said something stupid.
Don’t do this. It shouts insecurity.
Texting a girl over and over while still waiting for her reply is begging. It shows that you don’t have many options and women don’t want this. Why? She wants to be the one that gets the price. And if she’s the only option you have, it shows you’re not high-value.
Women don’t want to be with guys who want their attention all the time. That’s feminine and she’s going to find it repulsive. If you’re texting a woman asking her to hang out with you over and over while still waiting for her reply, it just shows you don’t have much going on in your life.
Being too obvious about wanting her to be your girlfriend
Women don’t want to have you easily. It’s human to feel that anything we get without a challenge isn’t that valuable.
If you give your commitment to a woman too quickly, there’s a high chance she won’t take you seriously. Women are inherently aware of this. And it’s partly why they don’t give in to sex so quickly even when they want to. They understand that if they make you work for it, you’ll value them more.
Focus more on improving yourself. Women, like everyone else, want to be a part of something bigger. If they perceive that you’re on your purpose, it’s only natural that they’ll want to be a part of it.
Paying to play
When you quickly tell women about your achievements and possessions, you’re presenting yourself as a trick.
A trick is a man who is going to pay to play. And if you do this, you’re going to set the wrong relationship dynamic for yourself. The woman is going to only want to be around you when you’re presenting her with something financially or materially. She’s going to sense that you lack a true sense of self, one that is dependent on your material and financial status.
“When the emotions are engaged,” Robert Greene wrote in The Art of Seduction, “we often have trouble seeing things as they are.” And when you have trouble seeing things as they are, insecurities can easily take charge. A woman becomes, not just a person, but a beautiful damsel you need to make yourself whole. This is the basis of insecurity in relationships and social interactions.