The start of any romantic relationship is often exciting, and you can’t seem to get enough of each other. Within the first couple of weeks, you often text, video call, and hang out as frequently as possible.
Usually, things can go one of two ways after the first few weeks or months. Firstly, you settle into a routine, and things progress steadily.
The second way this could go is that the lady starts to pull away just when you are beginning to think you have something going. She stops responding to your messages as often and as quickly as she used to do. She starts making excuses for not wanting to hang out with you.
Eventually, you realize she is pulling away from you. You play your last conversation repeatedly in your head, looking for a clue as to where things fell apart. Here are possible reasons why this may be happening.
1. She has her fears and insecurities
When women pull away, it is not always about you. We all come into relationships with past traumas and disappointments. Sometimes these issues make women bolt at the first sign of intimacy.
Research explains that trauma affects our attachment styles in romantic relationships. Often, people develop unhealthy relationship attachment behavior due to trauma’s toll on their self-esteem.
Signs of the effects of unhealthy attachment can show up in the form of an inability to form emotional connectedness in romantic relationships. This can cause a woman to pull away. Yes, you like her, and you think your love is enough to break down all the securities.
Unfortunately, your love is not magically going to make all her past traumas disappear. Most times people can pull away to deal with issues in their own way.
2. You are emotionally absent
When a woman is getting to know you, it’s like you are being auditioned for the role of the quintessential life partner. During this period, she is learning a lot about you, and this will determine what place you will hold in her life.
Signs of emotional unavailability are a sure turn-off for many women. If you do not do the relationship work of calling or texting unless she does, you don’t make plans and have a hard time committing when she makes them; she’ll see that your head is not in the game.
Romantic relationships thrive on deeper levels of connection. If you are emotionally unavailable, running from deep conversations, high-quality women will be quickly turned off by you.
No woman will stick around when you are detached.
3. Moving quickly
When a relationship is new and exciting, you can easily forget some of the things you know are unhealthy in a relationship. One of these is the tendency to move too quickly.
You just met a woman but you’re already making plans for your future together and talking about living together. Every relationship follows a natural life cycle. When some stages are rushed or skipped, the relationship might crash.
A woman may withdraw if she realizes that the relationship has moved too quickly and she is probably losing herself.
4. She Does Not See a Future With You
This point is closely connected to your emotional availability. If a woman finds out that you will not be with her for the long haul, that is undoubtedly a reason to pull away.
If your actions and inaction prove that you want to have fun, for the time being, this may not align with her hopes of building a life with you, traveling around the world, and sharing all of life’s experiences with you.
Unless she is also looking for the same things, she will be gone.
5. She is in love with someone else
It’s 2022. Many relationships at the start are not exclusive. The woman you are seeing could be seeing other men, as you may also be seeing other women. If she falls in love with someone while she is with you, that is enough reason to pull away from you.
It could also be an ex-boyfriend she hasn’t gotten over, and he’s back in her life. Being in love is a good thing, except when the woman you like is in love with someone else, it hurts.
At least when you know this, you should feel better that she did not pull away because of something you did.
6. She feels unseen and unappreciated
Women will go where they are appreciated and given the attention they deserve. Have you given her those things? In a romantic relationship, you want the woman in your life to be part of your life and freely share what’s on her mind with you without any fear of judgment.
You also need to make an effort to plan activities that show you put your heart into it. Courting a woman is an art. You have to do it wholeheartedly.
If you’re failing at it, she will pull away.
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7. She needs to reassess before committing to you.
You may be doing everything right. You are emotionally available, make plans for the now and the future, show the woman how much you appreciate her, and still, she pulls away.
It may be unsettling, but it could end well for you.
Women sometimes take a step back from their romantic relationships to reassess what they truly want.
Before they fully commit, women may pull away to have more space without you to make their decisions from a position of peace and certainty.
If she comes back, it’s a sign that she is ready for you. If she doesn’t, one or more of the above factors are at play.
When women pull away, the last thing you should do is stalk her on social media and flood her with messages incessantly.
Don’t be that guy, no matter how badly you want answers. If this has been a trend for you and multiple women have drawn away from you, you need to assess yourself and fix what is broken.