If you’re a guy looking for tips to finally get the girl you have been chasing for months, this might seem like a counterproductive action to you. Do not chase the woman you like.
How then do I get her to date you?
You may have grown up hearing that men are inherently chasers, hunters, driven by the thrill of the chase, etc. There could be some truth in that. After all, scientists have proved that men really do love the chase.
Scientists also reason that people naturally place a premium on things that are difficult to attain.
The satisfaction from finally getting the attention of the woman they like is an achievement and a boost to men’s ego. But this doesn’t just have to do with men. Women also get satisfaction from knowing that there was something unique about them that drew a man in.
They want to feel that they seduced the man. As a result, if you just suddenly start chasing a woman, you’re most likely going to turn her away from you.
That said, here are 7 reasons why men should never chase women. You will probably find an ego boost from one of them if you give up the chase.
1. You get distracted from chasing your goals
Most men who chase women will spend a lot of time planning their moves, learning the schedules of the women just so that they can be at the right place at the right time. They’ll expend a lot of energy and resources in their chase.
The thrill of the chase fuels them, and they just keep going on the next act, hoping the next one will be the one that finally gets her to say yes.
You could have spent this valuable time focusing on personal development and attaining your goals. Spending too much time obsessing over one woman will most likely make you feel frustrated, and disoriented about who and what really matters.
Interesting: 10 Biggest Dating Mistakes Guys Make With Women
2. You come across as desperate
Have you ever seen a guy so desperately trying to win a woman over, and he just looks pathetic?
If she says and shows you that she is not interested, believe her and walk. Desperation can mask itself as desire, but in the end, they’re nothing alike.
Sometimes women are not playing hard to get; they are just not that into you. The quicker you get the message and walk away, the better.
If you are the type of guy who takes it as a challenge when a woman says no to you, you may have to reflect on your motives for wanting this woman.
Have some self-respect and keep your dignity. Desperation is not as sexy as it looks in the movies.
3. The chase will never end
If you pursue a woman relentlessly and finally get her to date you, do you think you can just fold your arms and do nothing afterward?
You have set the tone of the romantic relationship and shown her that she is the prize. You have to keep chasing her even when you are together. It is an endless adventure that you certainly cannot keep up with.
You often hear women say, “before we got together, you used to do XYZ, and now you don’t do that anymore”. You chased her, made her feel loved, and now she feels less so because you have stopped pursuing her.
This may not always be the case, but stick to what you can maintain. If you cannot keep the momentum going, do not start it.
4. The relationship will be centered around her
When you are looking for a woman to be with, you should look for one who will also reciprocate the attention, love, and pampering that you shower her with. However, if it is always about you pleasing her, there’s a crack in your foundation.
You might have pursued the woman so relentlessly that you did not mind doing all the work. It will most likely continue to be one-sided when you finally get her.
You might wear her down with your persistence, but she’s gone if someone she likes comes along.
You might win in the chase, but when the thrill of it phases out, you will be lost in the relationship.
5. You miss the one who wants you
While you’re spending all that time chasing a woman who has told you “no” probably a hundred times, you miss out on the opportunity to be with other women who like you.
Romantic relationships work out when mutual love and energy are put into them. There are probably other women who will be over the moon to date you, especially if you’re successful. As stated in point one, be busy smashing your goals.
You deserve someone who gives you their time as much as you do.
6. She’s not that into you
There is a phase of getting to know a woman and making your intentions known to her. This article is not asking you to skip this phase and just wait for women to find you.
If you have to continue the chase after you have gone through this phase, the woman is not into you. When a woman likes you, she reciprocates your effort.
You can tell from her actions that she’s into you. She’s inviting. She will say to you in words and her actions that she’s not into you.
Interesting: 5 Major Things Men Do Wrong With Women
7. You are not what she needs
The chase is not always about you and your hunting prowess.
People walk through life with traumas from the past. This can affect their dating life.
Women are no different. When a woman encourages you to chase her by playing hard to get, it could be an issue of self-confidence based on past issues.
It could also be that she has her walls up because she is still healing from certain wounds.
Women may be uninterested in you for this reason, and even if you chase them until the point where they agree to be with you, you may struggle to maintain her romantic interest.
Before you leave
So you’re asking what to do now about the woman you’re chasing? Give up the chase. I’m not suggesting that you expect women to chase you or even approach you.
All you need to do is to make your intentions known. Throw in the sweet gestures if you like, but do not go on a chase. Desire isn’t that difficult to spot if it’s mutual.