Am I Overthinking Or Is He Losing Interest? 10 Ways to Know For Sure

Relationships can be incredibly exciting and fulfilling, but they can also be nerve-wracking at times. The mere thought of your partner losing interest in you can be heartbreaking.

If you’re at this point in your relationship, don’t worry, you’re not alone. Though no one prays for it, it’s more common than you think. And it’s natural to want to know if your partner is still invested in you.

The good news is, some signs can indicate whether your partner is losing interest or not. And by being aware of these signs, you can take steps to improve the relationship or, if necessary, move on.

But before you jump to conclusions, keep in mind that these signs don’t necessarily mean that your partner is losing interest. Consider them pointers worth paying attention to. And if you see clusters of these pointers, then there’s a high chance he might truly be losing interest.

1. Is he ignoring you?

Once someone starts ignoring your calls and your messages, it’s a sure sign that they’re avoiding you. They may not want to tell you directly to your face probably because they don’t want to hurt your feelings.

But if you pay attention, you’ll realize that the handwriting is pretty clear. For starters, if you ask him why he didn’t reply to your text, the excuses are going to be either vague or insincere.

Furthermore, even when he manages to pick up your call or reply to your text, you’ll feel the lack of enthusiasm in how he responds.

For instance, if it’s a call, you’ll hear it from his voice that he feels stressed and unexcited talking to you. If it’s a text he might even forget to reply for another hour. This is more true if he never used to act this way.

And if you notice this sudden change in his response without any recent major change in his lifestyle or routine — like getting a new job — then sorry to break it to you, you’re not overthinking. He’s really losing interest.

2. The secret in his eye contact when you’re together

Making eye contact with someone — whether you’re in a relationship with them or not is a classical sign of interest and respect.

This is why when a guy suddenly starts ignoring you when you’re together, it’s a major red flag.

It’s an uncontrollable action. For some reason, he can’t stand your face anymore. The energy he feels towards you is negative, so he’s trying to stay away, hence, the urge to avoid eye contact.

Furthermore, partners also tend to avoid eye contact often as a result of some other underlying issues like guilt, cheating, unresolved conflict, etc.

However, note that losing eye contact only counts as a sign of losing interest if it came all of a sudden and became a consistent thing he does. If his default thing is being distracted with other things when you’re together, then you need to have another conversation to resolve that.

3. Does he avoid serious conversations?

Constructive arguments, contrary to what many people might think, is a sign of a strong relationship. Why?

It shows that both partners are committed to making the relationship work. This is why when your man suddenly starts shaking off the need to have serious conversations, it could be a sign that he’s pulling out of the relationship.

It means he doesn’t think it’s worth saving.

For instance, you called his attention to the fact that he’s been ignoring you recently, which is obvious. But instead of taking your opinion seriously and talking about it, he shoves it off and continues ignoring you like nothing is happening.

Ignoring any form of serious conversation like this is a red flag that someone is pulling away from a relationship. And if you keep seeing this consistently, sis, you’re not imagining things. He’s really losing interest in you.

4. Constant irritation

All of a sudden, nothing you do is okay anymore. Your dress never fits, your makeup is never looking good, and your waist isn’t thin enough. Just a simple opinion from you is taken as disrespect.

This kind of constant irritation only means one thing: He wants you to leave him alone.

He’s tired of the relationship, but he doesn’t know how to say it directly to you. Hence, he uses other strategies like passive aggression to make you feel miserable to force you to end things with him yourself.

If you see this type of strong irritation from your partner about everything you do, that’s as clear as the sign can get. He’s losing interest, and he’s telling you through his body language.

[Also read: 10 Sure Signs He’s Fighting His Feelings For You]

5. He’s not initiating contact anymore

It’s always a little unsettling when the person you care about stops reaching out to you.

Though there are a few reasons why someone may stop initiating contact in a relationship.

For starters, he may be feeling overwhelmed with work or other commitments. Sometimes, life can get in the way and cause us to be less present in our relationships. In this case, you just need to have a conversation about how to balance things.

However, if he’s stopped initiating contact and you haven’t been able to identify a specific reason for it, it could be a sign that he’s not as invested in the relationship as he once was.

When someone is losing interest, they may start to withdraw and not initiate contact as often. It’s a subtle way of indicating that they’re not as invested as they used to be.

So, what can you do if this is happening to you?

Well, the first step is always to talk things through. Ask him what’s going on and why he’s not reaching out as often. Sometimes, a simple conversation can help clear up any misunderstandings and reignite the spark.

But, if you have that conversation and he still isn’t reaching out, then take a step back and reassess the relationship.

Are you both still on the same page? Are you both still happy and invested in the relationship? These are questions that you’ll need to answer for yourself.

At the end of the day, if your partner is no longer initiating contact, it’s definitely a sign that you need to pay attention to.

6. He cancels plans frequently

When we’re in a relationship, we typically make plans and look forward to spending time with our partner. We want to spend as much quality time as possible with them because we value the relationship.

But, if your partner is frequently canceling plans, it could mean that he’s not as invested in the relationship as he used to be. He may not see the importance of spending time with you, and this could indicate that his feelings for you are fading.

However, also pay attention to how often your partner is canceling plans and what their reasons are. If he’s canceling frequently and for no apparent reason, it could be a sign that he’s not putting in the effort to make the relationship work.

And, if this behavior continues, there’s a high chance he’s losing interest in the relationship.

[Also read: 8 Signs He Doesn’t Find You Attractive Enough to Date You]

7. He’s not as affectionate

Affection is a crucial aspect of any relationship, and when it starts to wane, it can be a sure sign that something’s not right.

When your partner is affectionate, it means that they’re comfortable with you and enjoy being close to you. It’s a physical manifestation of their feelings towards you and the relationship.

Think about it, when you’re really into someone, you can’t keep your hands off them. You want to touch, hug, kiss, and cuddle with them all the time. But, when your interest starts to fade, you start to lose that physical connection.

Your partner might still be around, but they’re no longer as affectionate as they used to be. This lack of affection can be a sign that they’re not as invested in the relationship as they once were.

But could a loss of affection also come from other reasons? Yes.

Maybe your partner is going through a tough time or just feeling stressed. But, if the lack of affection is a consistent trend and you’ve noticed other signs as well, then it’s something to watch out for.

[Also read: When A Guy Acts Interested Then Backs Off, This is Why]

8. He’s not making future plans

A guy who’s truly invested in a relationship is excited about all the amazing experiences and adventures that are waiting for you two in the future.

He’ll want to make plans for vacations, special events, and build long-term goals together. This is because he’s committed to building a future with you and he wants to be a part of your life for the long haul.

However, when a guy starts to lose interest, those future plans will no longer seem important to him. He’ll be less motivated to make any long-term commitments or talk about the future at all..

Now, it’s possible that your guy is just going through a busy time in his life or that he’s not a big fan of planning. But, if you’ve noticed he’s always avoiding making future plans with you, it might be worth having a conversation with him.

Ask him how he’s feeling about the relationship and if he sees a future with you. This will give you a better idea of where his head is at and what the future of your relationship might look like.

9. You no longer have quality time together

You used to spend hours talking with your partner, doing fun things together, and always finding new adventures. But lately, they seem to be avoiding spending quality time with you.

It’s a tough pill to swallow when you first notice this. But this could be a sign that your partner is losing interest in the relationship.

And it’s not just about the time you spend together, it’s also about the quality of that time. If they’re no longer excited to see you or talk to you, it’s a clear indication that something has changed.

Think about it, when someone is really into someone else, they want to spend as much time with that person as possible. They’re eager to hear their stories, learn more about their life, and make memories together.

But when quality time turns to boring time, and it stays this way for a long time, then you’re not imagining the hard reality that your relationship is decaying.

10. He’s not as excited to see you

When we first start dating someone, we can’t wait to see them. We get all giddy and butterflies in our stomachs, just thinking about being in their presence. But as time goes on, that excitement can fade, and we start to take the relationship for granted.

But when that spark starts to fade, the excitement dies down too. It’s like a flame that’s just not burning as bright anymore.

It’s like we’re in a rut, and we can’t seem to find our way out. We go through the motions, but the thrill is gone. That’s why it’s so important to keep the excitement alive in a relationship. Otherwise, you might find yourself in a situation where you’re just not that into each other anymore.

Honestly answer these questions:

When was the last time he surprised you with a sweet gesture or showed up at your place with flowers? When was the last time he couldn’t stop talking about how much he missed you?

If you can’t recall those moments happening lately, then it’s probably a sign that he’s losing interest.

Conclusion

Every relationship has some of these signs at some point. And just because your man — or woman — exhibits some of them one time doesn’t mean they’re losing interest. What you’re looking for are clusters of signs or a pattern of behavior.

Sometimes the most difficult part of seeing the signs is actually admitting it. The signs are often obvious. But most people find it difficult to admit that their partner is really losing interest in them. If you see a cluster of these signs, you’re not overthinking things. He’s losing interest.

But what do you do about it?

The best solution, as you would expect, is calling his attention to the recent changes you’re seeing in his behavior. And your next action after that solely depends on how he responds.

If he’s still interested in the relationship, then he’ll definitely talk things over and try to make amends. But a guy who doesn’t want the relationship to move forward will either shut down your attempt to call him out or get offended and aggressive at you for trying to resolve the issue.

Depending on the response you get, you can decide whether you’d like to stay with him or break up.

[Read: How to Make a Guy Interested Fast]