We all carry our own baggage of insecurities. Some of us are just better at hiding it than others.
But then there are those who wear their insecurities like a second skin, not out of choice, but because these insecurities have shaped them in ways that are too deep to ignore.
In this article, we’re going to talk about one such group – girls who carry a world of insecurities within them.
Imagine walking on a thin, fragile layer of ice. Each step has to be measured, each move thought out. That’s what it feels like dealing with a deeply insecure person.
The smallest of comments, the slightest change in your tone, can make insecure people question their worth, their trust, their entire world.
So, if you’re someone who wants to win the trust of an insecure girl, be it as a friend, a partner, or a parent, you need to tread lightly, but surely.
Needless to say, it’s not going to be easy, but the rewards are worth it. You’ll not only win her trust but also help her overcome her insecurities and believe in herself more.
1. Understand and Validate her Insecurities
The first step to gaining anyone’s trust, let alone an insecure girl’s, is understanding.
Try to empathize with her feelings, her thoughts, and most importantly, her insecurities. Understanding comes from keen observation, good listening, and deep communication.
It’s about finding out what makes her feel insecure and why she behaves the way she does.
And it’s not always a one-time conversation; it could take weeks or even months. You’ll need a lot of patience here.
When you do understand her insecurities, validate them. This doesn’t mean agreeing with the insecurities themselves, but acknowledging that they’re real to her and that they affect her.
I mean you should be non-judgemental, comforting, and caring. Validation makes her feel seen and heard. You’re not brushing off her concerns; you’re acknowledging them.
Now, you might wonder, what’s the big deal about validation?
Well, validation makes the other person feel that they matter, that their feelings matter. It makes them feel safe and protected.
That’s what an insecure girl often seeks: a sense of safety and assurance that someone cares for her feelings.
Avoid using harsh words or actions that could trigger her insecurities. You don’t want to contribute to her already high anxiety levels. Be gentle, kind, and understanding.
2. Be Consistent and Reliable
Now that you’ve begun to understand and validate her insecurities, show her that you’re consistent and reliable.
By consistency, I mean maintaining a steady pattern of behavior towards her.
If you show empathy and understanding one day, and then neglect or dismiss her the next, that’s inconsistency, and it can shake her trust in you.
Similarly, being reliable is about being there for her when she needs you. Does she have a fear of abandonment or a fear of being let down?
Show her that you’re dependable. Be there to support her, offer help when she needs it, or simply be a companion when she’s feeling low.
The bottom line here is that rust is built on the foundation of consistency and reliability. She needs to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that she can rely on you.
This will take time, but the reassurance that you are dependable will gradually help ease her insecurities.
3. Open Up About Your Vulnerabilities
An insecure girl might feel like she’s the only one with insecurities, with vulnerabilities. That’s precisely why you need to show her that everyone, including you, has insecurities and fears.
Opening up about your own vulnerabilities can make her feel less alone and more understood.
When you share your vulnerabilities, you’re essentially showing her that it’s okay to be imperfect, it’s okay to have fears and insecurities.
This can be a powerful way to connect on a deeper emotional level. And, in turn, it can help build trust.
Furthermore, being open about your vulnerabilities can also show her that it’s possible to face these insecurities and overcome them.
Your journey to deal with your own insecurities can inspire her to face her own. It can give her hope, a very powerful emotion.
[Related: 15 Dangers of Dating an Insecure Woman]
4. Encourage Her to Express Herself and Her Insecurities
When she feels secure enough with you, she might start opening up more. But, sometimes, she might need a little nudge, a little encouragement.
Encouragement can be as simple as asking her how she feels, what she thinks, and how her day was.
These simple questions can show her that you care, that you’re interested in her life and her feelings. This can make her feel important and valued.
When she does start expressing herself, listen to her. Listen not to judge or respond, but to understand.
Show her through your actions that her thoughts, feelings, and words matter. Listening is a powerful tool in building trust.
Encourage her to express her insecurities as well. Sometimes, talking about the things that make us insecure can help us deal with them. It can bring clarity and help in finding solutions.
5. Show Appreciation and Give Compliments
Every person loves appreciation, and an insecure girl is no different. In fact, she might need it more than others to help build her self-confidence.
Therefore, showing appreciation and giving genuine compliments is another way to gain her trust.
Showing appreciation can be about the big things or the small things.
For instance, you could appreciate her for who she is, her personality, her kindness, or even for the efforts she puts into overcoming her insecurities.
Show her that she’s appreciated, that she’s valuable, and that she’s loved.
Compliments, when genuine and heartfelt, can make a person feel good about themselves. They can boost confidence and bring a smile.
Compliment her on her looks, her skills, her strengths. But remember to be sincere. False compliments can backfire and shake the trust you’re trying to build.
[Also read: 10 Signs of an Insecure Girl on Social Media]
6. Offer Reassurance
Reassurance is like a balm to an insecure soul. It soothes the fears, calms the anxieties, and brings a sense of security.
So, offer reassurance whenever she needs it. When her insecurities start to play up, reassure her that you’re there for her, that she’s not alone, and that she’s capable of overcoming these insecurities.
Reassurance can also be about reinforcing your trustworthiness. Keep reassuring her that she can trust you, that you’re there for her. This repetition can be comforting and can gradually help build trust.
7. Respect Her
Respect is about treating her with kindness, understanding, and dignity. It’s about accepting her for who she is, with her imperfections and insecurities.
When she feels respected, she’ll start feeling valued and worthy.
Plus, respect also means giving her space when she needs it, not pressuring her to do things she’s not comfortable with, and respecting her boundaries.
All these actions show her that you genuinely care for her and respect her, which in turn, builds trust.
[Related: 7 Traits of an Extremely Insecure Partner]
8. Be Patient
Lastly, but highly important, remember that trust isn’t built overnight. Especially with an insecure girl, it can take time.
So, be patient and give her the time she needs to build trust in you. Patience, in this context, is about waiting without frustration or anxiety.
It’s about understanding that she might take more time than others to open up and trust.
Don’t rush her or pressurize her to trust you. Let her take her own time. Trust that’s built slowly is often stronger and longer-lasting. It’s like a seed that’s sown and nurtured over time to grow into a strong tree.
1. What should I do if she is not opening up despite my efforts?
Firstly, remember that everyone takes their own time to open up and trust someone, especially if they’re dealing with insecurities.
If she isn’t opening up despite your efforts, it could be that she needs more time, or perhaps your approach might need to be adjusted.
Consider having an open and honest conversation with her about your intention to understand and support her. Be gentle and reassuring during this conversation.
It might also be helpful to seek professional help if she seems extremely hesitant or troubled. Therapists and counselors are trained to handle such situations and can provide the necessary guidance and support.
Just remember, the goal is to help her feel secure and understood, and sometimes that might mean involving professionals who are equipped to handle such situations.
2. I accidentally said something that triggered her insecurities. What should I do?
The first thing you should do is apologize sincerely. Let her know that you didn’t mean to hurt her and that you regret your words or actions.
After apologizing, give her some space to process her feelings. It might take her some time to get over the incident, and that’s okay.
Once she’s ready, try discussing what happened, why it affected her, and how you can avoid similar situations in the future. It’s all about learning and growing from these experiences.
3. She doesn’t believe my compliments. What should I do?
If she doesn’t believe your compliments, it could be due to her insecurities and low self-esteem. The key here is consistency and sincerity.
Keep giving her genuine compliments, even if she doesn’t believe them initially. Over time, she may start to accept them and feel better about herself.
In addition to verbal compliments, show her through your actions that you mean what you say.
For instance, if you compliment her on her kindness, show appreciation when she does something kind.
Actions often speak louder than words, and your consistent, positive actions can help reinforce your compliments and make them more believable.
4. How can I help her overcome her insecurities?
Supporting someone in overcoming their insecurities is a delicate process. It involves understanding, validation, and consistent, positive reinforcement.
Encourage her to express her insecurities and fears, and validate these feelings when she does. Reassure her, give genuine compliments, and show your appreciation.
However, remember that you can’t force someone to overcome their insecurities. It’s a personal journey, and the person themselves have to be ready and willing to face their insecurities.
What you can do is be there for her, supporting her, encouraging her, and offering help when she needs it. If her insecurities seem overwhelming or debilitating, professional help from therapists or counselors can be very beneficial.
- All photos from freepik.com