“We suffer more from our imagination than from reality.” — Seneca
The ability to experience fear is a survival mechanism that our brain has used to keep us alive since the time of the caveman. For instance, if you see a lion in the bush, the ability to panic and run is what will keep you alive.
But we are not in the bushes anymore.
The world has developed and we no longer have wild animals around us. But with this comfort, another kind of fear was born. The one Seneca referred to as “The fear in our imagination.”
It’s the fear of disappointing people. The fear of going after your dreams because you’re afraid you might fail. It’s the fear of the unknown. For some, it’s the fear of approaching a woman or standing up to a bully.
As a man, you’re going to have to do a lot of things you’re not sure of. The problem is that people don’t understand that courage isn’t the absence of fear.
A courageous man isn’t a man who doesn’t feel fear. He’s simply a man who is aware of his fears and has learned to act despite them.
And the reason why this is so important is that a man needs to take action to grow. And if you’re always afraid of the unknown, letting your fears stop you, you’ll never face the reality of life and growth. Nothing great comes from always playing safe.
Also read: 5 Defining Traits of a High-Value Man
4. Integrity and masculinity
When you see a self-confident masculine man, you’ll probably quickly notice traits like standing up straight with shoulders back, making solid eye contact, open body language during conversations, etc.
But the truth about these traits is that it doesn’t come through acting. I know many self-help articles tell you to do these things to feel more confident, truly confident people never had to think about doing them.
And the reason for this is that these traits come from the inside. You stand tall and make eye contact because you know who you are and you have nothing to hide.
If you’re not proud of yourself, no amount of acting will make you comfortable with making eye contact with others. Because when you look, you’ll be afraid of your less than perfect facial features or the fact that you’re leading a life that you’re not proud of.
When you’re proud of yourself, you’ll naturally stand tall and be comfortable in your own skin.
Hence, to be a more masculine man, you have to be a man of integrity. Live a life of honor. Don’t do in private what you can’t do in public.
When you live a life of honor, you’ll walk and live your life like you deserve honor.