“Seduction,” Robert Greene wrote in The Art of Seduction, “is a game of psychology, not beauty, and it is within the grasp of any person… All that is required is that you look at the world differently.”
As Lord Varysn also said to Tyrion Lannister in the Game of Thrones, swirling the wine in his cup, “ Power resides where men believe it resides. It’s a trick. A shadow on the wall. And a very small man can cast a very large shadow.”
In other words, people don’t see you through their eyes, they see you through yours. The way you talk, walk, eat, stand, etc., says a lot about you and how much value you place in yourself.
And when it comes to attracting beautiful women, the most important thing is to communicate high value, and you don’t need looks for that. Here are five things ― in your control ― you can do to communicate the kind of respect that attracts beautiful ladies.
1. Improve Yourself
If you’re short, that’s out of your control. But you can’t be short, broke, and fat at the same time. The way you look says a lot about you. According to studies, just looking healthy and having clear skin makes you appear more attractive because healthy skin is an indication that you put some effort into self-care.
Furthermore, evolutionarily, women are wired to stay away from needy men. A healthy man is an indication of self-reliance. If he can take care of himself, then she will not need to worry about taking care of him and her child, if they do have one together in the future.
Understand that at any given time, there are countless things a man can do to drastically improve how he looks. Whether you won the genetic lottery on good looks or not, you can always work on getting yourself in shape.
Eating right is always in your power. Studying hard and getting good grades will increase your chances of getting a good job and having a good income, all of which will increase your value.
Here’s the thing: Most guys who complain about the fact that they don’t have a chance with beautiful women are focusing on the wrong things. What you should care about is how you can add value to yourself.
Stop doing things that you know you shouldn’t do. Read great books. You can always increase your value one step at a time. But most guys will rather complain about the unfair distribution of facial attraction instead of doing the work it takes to transform themselves into high-value men.
Looks themselves don’t make you appear high value. What makes you high value is you behaving like someone who understands that he is responsible 100% for how his life turns out.
2. Build the Right Mindset
Most guys have the wrong mindset about beautiful women: They view pretty women as untouchable figures they only get to admire either from afar or on magazine covers. This is why they lose it even in simple conversations with them.
The wrong mindset is you thinking that a beautiful lady is doing you a huge favor if she accepts to go on a date with you or have you as her boyfriend.
It’s toxic for you to think that you’re below her standard even before you get to interact with her and understand the kind of person she is. This kind of assumption only leads to fear.
You’ll feel pressured interacting with her because your conversation with her will feel like an employee trying to impress a boss. And ladies can spot these kinds of guys faster than you think.
The right mindset:
Don’t assume anything about a beautiful woman until you get to interact with her. She could be intelligent, respectful, conscientious, and sweet. But she could just as well be bitter, cold, dull, or even depressed.
Beauty shouldn’t equal a great personality. Use interaction, not as a means to impress a beautiful woman, but as a means to know her worth. Is she your type? Can you stand her as your girlfriend? Does she have what it takes to handle a relationship?
A mindset like this will give you a greater feel for reality and help you interact with beautiful women more calmly and naturally. Try it.