“Seduction,” Robert Greene wrote in The Art of Seduction, “is a game of psychology, not beauty, and it is within the grasp of any person… All that is required is that you look at the world differently.”
As Lord Varysn also said to Tyrion Lannister in the Game of Thrones, swirling the wine in his cup, “ Power resides where men believe it resides. It’s a trick.
A shadow on the wall. And a very small man can cast a very large shadow.”
In other words, people don’t see you through their eyes, they see you through yours. The way you talk, walk, eat, stand, etc., says a lot about you and how much value you place in yourself.
And when it comes to attracting beautiful women, the most important thing is to communicate high value, and you don’t need looks for that.
Here are five things ― in your control ― you can do to communicate the kind of respect that attracts beautiful ladies.
1. Improve Yourself
If you’re short, that’s out of your control. But you can’t be short, broke, and fat at the same time. The way you look says a lot about you.
According to studies, just looking healthy and having clear skin makes you appear more attractive because healthy skin is an indication that you put some effort into self-care.
Furthermore, evolutionarily, women are wired to stay away from needy men. A healthy man is an indication of self-reliance.
If he can take care of himself, then she will not need to worry about taking care of him and her child, if they do have one together in the future.
Understand that at any given time, there are countless things a man can do to drastically improve how he looks.
Whether you won the genetic lottery on good looks or not, you can always work on getting yourself in shape.
Eating right is always in your power. Studying hard and getting good grades will increase your chances of getting a good job and having a good income, all of which will increase your value.
Here’s the thing: Most guys who complain about the fact that they don’t have a chance with beautiful women are focusing on the wrong things.
What you should care about is how you can add value to yourself.
Stop doing things that you know you shouldn’t do. Read great books. You can always increase your value one step at a time.
But most guys will rather complain about the unfair distribution of facial attraction instead of doing the work it takes to transform themselves into high-value men.
Looks themselves don’t make you appear high value. What makes you high value is you behaving like someone who understands that he is responsible 100% for how his life turns out.
[Related: Why The Most Beautiful Women Still Struggle With Dating]
2. Build the Right Mindset
Most guys have the wrong mindset about beautiful women: They view pretty women as untouchable figures they only get to admire either from afar or on magazine covers.
This is why they lose it even in simple conversations with them.
The wrong mindset is you thinking that a beautiful lady is doing you a huge favor if she accepts to go on a date with you or have you as her boyfriend.
It’s toxic for you to think that you’re below her standard even before you get to interact with her and understand the kind of person she is. This kind of assumption only leads to fear.
You’ll feel pressured interacting with her because your conversation with her will feel like an employee trying to impress a boss. And ladies can spot these kinds of guys faster than you think.
The right mindset:
Don’t assume anything about a beautiful woman until you get to interact with her. She could be intelligent, respectful, conscientious, and sweet.
But she could just as well be bitter, cold, dull, or even depressed.
Beauty shouldn’t equal a great personality. Use interaction, not as a means to impress a beautiful woman, but as a means to know her worth. Is she your type?
Can you stand her as your girlfriend? Does she have what it takes to handle a relationship?
A mindset like this will give you a greater feel for reality and help you interact with beautiful women more calmly and naturally. Try it.
3. Look Beyond Her Appearance
Most beautiful ladies are used to being liked and respected just for their beauty.
Sometimes even when a guy shows interest in them, they wonder if he’s really interested in them or just their looks and body.
Beautiful women face a higher chance of being objectified.
Hence, if you can show a girl that you see and are more interested in what she has to offer beyond her beauty, then you set yourself apart from other guys.
For instance, when you’re in a conversation with her, ask her to tell you something interesting about herself.
This is a good question, not just because it’s a great way to let her talk at length about herself, it also insinuates that her beauty isn’t enough for you, that you want to be convinced that there’s any value in her if her beauty was taken away.
[Interesting: 5 Major Things Men Do Wrong With Women]
4. Challenge Her
Most beautiful women often have it easy when it comes to interacting with people.
On dates, the guy will usually be the one fighting to bring up topics and fill up the silence when they inevitably arise.
When there’s an awkward moment, beautiful women rarely feel ashamed because the guy quickly starts looking awkward, showing that he should be blamed for it.
They are also used to being bombarded with compliments, and when they give one, the recipients act like they won the lottery, often returning the favor quickly.
In other words, good-looking ladies rarely get challenged or intimidated. And you can use this to stand out.
For instance, when there’s silence in a conversation with her, don’t rush to fill it. Look at her straight in the eyes, like you expect her to say something.
Her pulse will rise as she struggles to think of what to say. If she takes too long, come in with a topic, subtly showing disappointment in your expression.
If she compliments you, don’t feel compelled to return it immediately. Just say thank you. Compliment her about something besides her looks later on.
As you challenge her in this manner, she’ll begin to sense the difference between you and the majority of guys she’s met.
[Interesting: 7 Psychological Tricks to Make A Girl Obsessed With You]
The Takeaway
Most guys want to date beautiful women, and it’s no wonder why.
However, their desperation to have a beautiful woman as a girlfriend often has the wrong motive. They’ve projected fantasies on her just because she looks good.
Hence, when they do get a chance to meet her, they are not seeing who she is anymore. What they see is a projection. A perfect creature devoid of flaws.
The major takeaway is this: Don’t assume anything about a beautiful woman before you know her.
Their attitude and sense of self come in different flavors, just like every other person. Sure, some gorgeous ladies also have their lives together.
But many don’t. The only way to find out is to engage with her. Anything you imagine or assume before that is just a mirage that will mess with your perception of her.