It is one thing to know that a guy likes you, it is another thing to know that he wants you badly, and no matter how many girls he meets, it’s you he’s thinking about.
There was a point in my life where I would meet amazing guys; we’d talk for weeks, sometimes months, then all of a sudden, the communication would stop. The talking stage never moved beyond that, leaving me wondering, what just happened?
This has happened more than once, and it certainly bummed me out. I’m I that forgettable?
What could I have done to make these guys want me so bad that the talking stage would progress into romantic relationships?
Looking back on those days, as someone in a fulfilling relationship, here are some tips I wish I had known then.
1. Know your worth.
It might seem strange to start with something about you, rather than your man, the one you are hoping will want you really badly, but hear me out.
Many women do not see themselves as the amazing, hard-working, and sexy women that they are. Low self-confidence makes them desperate and unsure they can ever land a wonderful partner.
If you want a guy to desire you, you need to see yourself as someone desirable. Be confident.
So how about if you have done a self-assessment and think you’re not really at your A-game? In that case, it’s time to work on yourself. Get your life together.
Take some online courses, do better at your job, and work on being a genuinely decent human being.
When you start to feel good about yourself, you will realize that you are worthy of love and a good man.
2. Don’t be too eager to please him.
Him: “Hey, do you want to go out tomorrow night?”
You: “Yes, sure, I’m available anytime”.
This might seem counterintuitive, but you should not always be available when the guy you like wants to hang out. And this isn’t about faking busyness or playing mind games.
If you do step 1 right, you should have your own life and have so many things to occupy your time. And as a result, you should not always move things around or cancel your appointments to accommodate him.
If you have nothing to do at the time, get some beauty sleep.
Now, I’m not saying do this all the time, but don’t jump at every opportunity to spend time with him. He might interpret that as you being too needy, or you have nothing going for you.
The aim should be to spend quality time with him, not too much time. When you hang out, make it memorable. This will activate the dopamine-seeking reward loop. And according to psychologists, activating the dopamine loop makes someone associate you with the feeling they get from hanging out with you.
For instance, if a guy has fun spending time with you, he’ll feel excited whenever he thinks of you. And this will in turn make him want to see you more.
Guys may hate it when girls are unavailable to them. But that’s what will keep him coming back. A girl who’s bold enough to turn down an invitation poses a challenge to them and they want to tackle that challenge.
3. Keep the mystery alive.
What is the mystery? You don’t just meet people and spill all your business. You dish out your information in tiny bits to keep the interest alive.
Of course, you find him irresistible and can’t wait to explore your fantasies but play it cool.
He does not need to see all your sexy moves just yet; he probably hasn’t earned it.
Yes, he must earn it (more on that point later).
The point here is that you should not give everything up too soon. The guy will get bored because he has seen it all, heard it all, and when he needs more excitement, he will find that elsewhere.
Interesting: How to Make a Man Think of You All The Time
4. Live a full life
If you’re not busy living your own life, what have you got to add to your man’s life? Relationships thrive when two people who are already pursuing their own things in life come together and enrich each other’s lives with unique experiences.
If you want a man to desire you badly, make yourself unforgettable by always having some experiences to share. But you won’t have experiences to share if you are idle.
I’m not saying get busy with fruitless activities. Find the things you’re good at, join a book club, improve your skills, make a bucket list and start ticking things off.
Enjoy living. When a woman genuinely enjoys her life, smashing her goals, guys want to be part of that. We all want to be a part of something better.
A guy will want you badly if he feels that life with you is a good time.
5. Make him feel needed.
Do you know one weird thing that makes men feel good about themselves? When they can do things for you.
Men naturally want to provide, be the hero, or come to the rescue of women they like.
When you allow a guy to do things for you, you make him feel like a man. You acknowledge his place in the relationship.
You may be able to lift all the boxes in your house by yourself, but it doesn’t hurt to enlist your man to do the lifting.
Let him be a manly man. And while he’s lifting boxes, give him a flirty look.
You’re not a damsel in distress; you are a goddess who wields the power to make a man go crazy for you.
6. Keep the suspense
“Your greatest power in seduction is your ability to turn away, to make others come after you, delaying their satisfaction.”
Robert Greene couldn’t have said it better in The Art of Seduction.
To get a man to want you badly, you must master the art of seduction, and how good of a seductress could you be without mastering suspense; delaying the satisfaction.
To keep the suspense:
- – Flirt. Get naughty in your texts and even when you hang out. Of course, remember you’re not giving all away, so flirt but keep him wondering where that could lead.
- – Dress to impress. Get out your best outfits, the ones which accentuate your curves. Show some skin and let your best features shine.
- – Touch him. Run your fingers through his hair, touch his lips with your fingers; when you sit close to him, let your thighs touch his.
- You don’t need a specific type of body to create sexual tension. With the right skills, you can make your guy anticipate the fantastic time he will have with you.
Also read: 8 Qualities That Make You Unforgettable
7. Be spontaneous.
Being predictable is the fastest way to kill a relationship. You become predictable, don’t make that much effort anymore, and everything becomes boring.
I’m not saying you need to plan exciting, spontaneous activities every day of the week, all year round, but you need to interrupt your routine with unexpected date nights, games that leave both you and your man in a playful bear fight, and adventures that scare both of you.
These are the moments your man will crave when he thinks about you, and he will want you to have such moments with nobody else but you.
8. Let him chase you
Do men still enjoy chasing women today? Duh! Does the hunter ever get tired of hunting for a game? Of course not.
Men are hunters and love the hunt. The chase is thrilling and adds to the fun of dating. Let me issue a disclaimer here. You do not need to lead a man on or play hard to get. That can put a man off very quickly, and that’s not your goal.
Your goal is to make him want you badly, so let him put in some effort. Don’t reply to his text too quickly or jump into bed with him just yet.
He will get bored if he perceives that you are too eager or easy to get.
Set the rules of the game. You guys will know that if he wants you, he must do his best.
9. Spice it up in the bedroom.
I put this point last for a reason, as much as sex is crucial if you want to keep a guy wanting you, great sex alone is not enough. If you want to be successful, throw in all the other points above.
Be open to trying new things in the bedroom. Sometimes initiate sex and take the lead. Men love a woman who can take charge in the bedroom.
Enjoy making love to your man, be present in the moment. Sometimes our minds wander during sex, and before you know it, it’s over. Make your man go crazy in bed, and he’ll always want you badly.
It’s a sweet feeling when you know that your guy is into you, and he just can’t get enough of you. Most times, this happens at the beginning of dating when everything is new, and there are many firsts.
This excitement dies down if you do not find ways to keep the spark alive. In long-term relationships, this can be harder, but the pleasures and rewards from a loving man who always wants you are worth the work.
To make a guy want you really bad is an adventure. You get to enjoy the highs at every stage when you tick off one of these points on the list.