Does he also have a crush on you? Will you ruin your already existing friendship if you make a move on her?
Liking someone and not being sure how they feel about you is something we all can relate to.
You don’t want to ruin your existing friendship with that person, but you also don’t want to be the simp who ends up in the friend zone all the time. So what do you do?
Here’s a simple truth:
There’s hardly any relationship that starts with both parties knowing how they feel about each other. In most cases, one person will have to make the sacrifice to make his or her intentions known first.
Hence, what matters is always how you go about making your intentions known. If you go about doing it right, you can make your crush also desire you back. That said, here are ways to make your crush like you back.
1. The Worst Thing You’ll Likely Do
When you like someone, your emotions become engaged. You get jealous when they are having fun with someone else. You want to have them for yourself, which makes you fear the friend zone even more.
This apprehension leads a lot of people to make the wrong move: They start chasing.
And the more they chase, the needier they’ll appear, and the farther away they’ll push whoever they are trying to attract. As the saying goes, “The tighter you try to hold on to someone, the faster they slip.”
Here’s the thing: As the relationship therapist, Esther Perel wrote in her book, Mating In Captivity,
“Where there is nothing left to hide, there is nothing left to seek.”
People don’t like you back because they pity you. They like you back because you successfully seduce them. When you become too needy, pursuing and begging someone to like you, you put yourself at their mercy, and no one will find this attractive.
What do you do instead?
2. Get Perspective
Here’s the thing:
When you have a crush on someone, it’s easy for you to blow things out of proportion in your head.
The more you observe and admire them from afar, the more you get lost in fantasies about how great it will be to finally have them in your arms and hear them say they like you back.
But this is infatuation. And it will only make you blow things out of proportion. Instead of seducing your crush, you’ll end up begging for their attention. And the harder they play to get, the more you’ll try to please them.
If you want to have any chance of making your crush like you, you have to get a good perspective of reality.
And the reality is that your crush isn’t better than you. You are not at their mercy. You simply saw some qualities in them you find attractive and you’ll love to get a chance to know them better. And so far, you’re not sure what you’ll find yet.
Also Read: How To Create Desire In A Woman
3. Show (Not Say) That You Care
There’s no better way to warm your way into someone’s heart than letting them know that you care about them.
This isn’t about sending them multiple texts and sitting by your phone, waiting for their reply. No, that’s neediness.
You can show that you care for someone maturely and securely.
Offer to help them out with stuff when it’s within your power. Reach out when they’re having a hard time. If you’re a guy, simply offering to walk your crush home because you want to make sure she’s safe will score you major points.
Everyone wants to be loved and to also know that they’re loved. No matter how hard we try to hide this, it’s still the fact. We like people we can feel safe and secure with.
In fact, if you’ll have any chance of getting into a woman’s heart, you must make her feel emotionally secure first. Let your crush know that you care about them. Don’t chase, just show.
4. Use Reciprocal Liking to Your Advantage
Playing hard to get may work sometimes, but what works even more, as studies have found, is reciprocal liking.
We like those who like us already.
Some people think it’s a good seduction strategy to ignore someone when you like them. But this is unrealistic. If you ignore someone who isn’t sure about how they feel about you yet, they will probably forget about you.
As Madeleine Fugere, a professor of psychology in Connecticut State University explained in Psychology today,
“Mutual liking is often one of the most frequent things mentioned when people describe the origin of their relationships.” And it’s no wonder why.
We all crave connection. But as much as we want to connect, we are also insecure about many things. We doubt our social abilities, we wonder if we’re attractive enough for our crush, we doubt our desirability in the eyes of others.
Hence, having someone take off all these burdens and doubts and just letting you know they like you is a huge deal for us.
Here’s the trick: As Prof Madeleine further advised, let your crush know you like him/her, but don’t let them know just how much. The key is to make your crush feel there’s something they can do to make you like them even more.
Also Read: How to Make Someone Miss You, According to Psychologists
5. Create Natural Attraction With Physical Proximity
Have you ever been in a situation where you just made someone like you simply because you were close?
Your closeness could have been because you were often in the same classes. Or, maybe you were just colleagues at work. It could be that you were in the same choir and you both got a chance to know each other without having to go out on a date or do “love confessions.”
The principle of physical proximity works a lot. Studies show that when random people are assigned to sit together for a while, they begin to like each other. This is something we can all relate to.
You’re more likely to like someone you’re familiar with.
Think about it: The less strange you are to someone, the safer they’ll be with you, and consequently, the higher the probability that they’ll like you. This is known by social psychologists as the mere-exposure effect.
The big takeaway here is this: Don’t be a stranger to your crush. Don’t love from a distance. He or she will not magically sense your energy and like you back.
But you don’t want to stalk them either.
What you want to do is find ways to spend more time with them. For instance, you can intentionally sit close to them during a meeting. If you share similar interests like music, attend music classes with him or her. Or get them to sign up with you.
This is the best way to build attraction naturally. As you begin to spend time together, you can start drawing them in by showing them that you care. If you have similar hobbies, try to get your crush to do them with you.
Also Read: How to Attract and Date High-Value Men
6. Highlight Similarities
Just like closer physical proximity increases your chances of getting your crush to like you, having many similarities works even better. It’s known as the familiarity principle of attraction.
You’re just more likely to like those who share the same values and outlook of the world as you.
When you find someone who likes the same sport, music band, or movie genre as you, you feel ecstatic, like you found your other half. People who share the same values as us make us feel more secure and confident in ourselves.
They tell us that we are not alone, that we are not crazy for believing the things we believe.
However, this doesn’t mean that you start agreeing with everything your crush agrees with. What this means is that you emphasize your similarities.
For instance, if you’re having a conversation and he or she mentions a movie you like, hold on to that. Talk about how much you like different characters in the movie, and how underrated you think the movie is.
The more similar things you talk to them about, the more bonded you’ll feel.
Having a crush on someone is a good thing. The initial attraction we feel towards people motivates us to go out, connect, and build something great, something that has the potential to lead to a great relationship.
But nothing will come out of a crush if you keep letting your hormones and your emotions get the better part of you. Use these strategies to get your crush to desire you too.
Also Read: 8 Subtle Signs A Man Genuinely Loves You