If you don’t know what dry texts are, they are texts that can put you to sleep.
Chatting with a dry-texter is painful. You want to get things moving, but they appear not to have the same energy as you. You text and wait for a reply; it’s like watching paint dry.
You’re probably thinking of someone as you read this, thinking they are dry-texters, but you could also be a dry texter. Texting is about finding the balance between doing too much and too little. Both extremes are not fun.
Here’s how to not be a dry texter. Let’s start with the Dos.
1. The most common texting mistake
Think about it. If they were sitting in front of you having a conversation, you wouldn’t leave them hanging for minutes when they say something that requires a response.
Texting is a conversation, so leaving messages unanswered for too long makes the chat dry.
It also says you are not interested in chatting with them. If that’s the point you’re trying to get across, it will be more polite to just say you’re not interested rather than be a dry texter.
If you are busy when the text comes in, you can reply saying you’re busy and will get back to them later. That way, you do not keep them waiting on their phone for hours, expecting your text.
Related: How To Keep A Conversation Going
2. Add some personality to it
If I told my girlfriend about winning a contract I’ve been dying to get for years, I expect nothing less than “OMG Babyyyyy, wohooooo, you did it, YASSSSSSSS!!!!” Dancing emoji, high five emoji.
If I got a “congratulations, well done”, I’d think someone else is texting with my girlfriend’s phone because I know this is not her personality. This is a dry text in response to a piece of exciting news. It lacks character.
Texting is a form of communication; you can send texts in the same exciting ways that you speak when you’re in the presence of people. Sometimes we forget this and become a boring version of ourselves when we text.
When you’re enjoying texting someone, it comes through in the kind of words you use.
3. Flirt a little
It’s okay to start conversations with “hey there” or “hi love” and stuff, but that gets boring. Take your phone and go through the texts you have sent to your partner; if you begin your messages the same way all the time, it is time for an upgrade.
Flirt a little (for romantic interactions, of course). Let your texts evoke sensations in them. “Hey there, handsome, thinking of you right now (wink wink)”.
Break the monotony, and don’t be afraid to spice up the texts.
I know people who are more flirty and exciting in texting than they are in face-to-face conversations. Texting gives you the advantage of not being seen; at least you do not have to worry about your partner staring at you weirdly for your failed flirting attempts.
Interesting: 5 Texting Mistakes That Are Keeping You Single
4. Use Emojis and GIFs
There’s a reason why emojis and GIFs have been included in messaging. It carries more messages than words can say. You know what they say “a picture is worth a thousand words”.
Sometimes the best way to express your thoughts and emotions is through emojis and GIFs. Words fail us, or you’re just exhausted and don’t want to text actual words. Emojis and GIFs will do it.
You can write a whole sentence with only emojis. Instead of LOLing all the time, why not find a GIF that shows exactly how you’re laughing.
5. Text first sometimes
There is no point abiding by some rules about who is supposed to text first and how many days to wait before texting someone. If you wait too long, they may assume you’re not interested.
Some people intentionally hold back from texting first as a move to get the other person chasing them, but when you text first, you can steer the conversation in the direction you want.
Nothing says “I’m thinking of you” more than when you’re the first one to text — as long as you don’t text “Hi” and leave it at that.
Texting first is a sweet surprise, especially when your partner (or friend) usually texts first. And if done right, you can get someone chasing you through texts.
Asking probing questions will unearth little details you won’t know about the other person. If you just say “Alright” or Okay” whenever they share their thoughts with you, you’re missing out.
Probing not only shows that you care, but it also shows that you are a great communicator through texts.
You can say things like “How so or how do you mean?” or “Tell me more” as opposed to “Why”, which is a one-word reply.
Texting can quickly dry when it appears like there’s nothing to say. But probing keeps things exciting, you learn so much about each other.
7. Be funny
Don’t be greedy; don’t be the one at the receiving end of the funny jokes but never try to be funny. That just makes you dull.
When you’re genuinely enjoying the communication you’re having through texts, it’s easy to crack jokes. You’re in a lighter mood, texting with ease as you would speak if your partner was right in front of you.
You don’t have to make silly jokes if it’s not something that comes easily to you, but you can share a funny story that happened during your day.
Imagine your partner coming to see a text from you starting with “You’ll never guess the funniest thing that happened today….” that will be more exciting to respond to than “hello, good evening. How was your day?”
Your funny texts will lead to funny GIFs and emojis, and voila!. You have made texting so much richer between you and your partner.
Now let’s look at the Don’ts
8. Avoid one-liners
One-word replies are what you use when you are texting with someone you do not like. You’re saying I do not care enough to come up with any more words to text you. And soon enough, they will stop texting back.
If your plan is not to drive this person away, then you need to change your one-word replies to meaningful sentences.
For instance, If you’re asked, “Did you have a good day?” instead of saying “Yes,” and leaving it at that, You should say, “I did; I completed that proposal my supervisor has been asking for and submitted it on time. That was a relief.”
Add details and context to your conversations. This will lead to further questions, and the texts keep improving.
Also read: 15 Texts That Will Get Him Chasing You
A friend of mine was in a distance relationship, and for the whole year, she and her partner had a repetitive texting schedule. Good morning messages, a bunch of messages during the day, and goodnight messages before bed.
Thankfully they live in a period where video calls are possible; I doubt their relationship would have survived the monotony of the texts.
To avoid dry-texting, you must vary the kind of texts and even the language you use.
You may send more than one-word replies promptly, but if your messages are repetitive, predictable, and take the same form all the time, the conversation will go dry.
Spontaneity is exciting. Don’t let texting be like a dialogue in a formal setting.
10. Self-centered texting
One of the best ways to keep a conversation going is to ask people what’s going on with them. We all love to talk about ourselves.
There are always tiny details of the day that we are dying to tell someone.
Conversations are not monologues. Don’t be that person who talks about themselves endlessly.
Show interest in the other person’s hobbies, passions, family, and friends. Once they feel you are interested in knowing them, they will be happy to keep texting you.
We live in a time where people meet and fall in love just by texting. It does get intimidating, and sometimes that’s where the dry-texting comes from.
Understandably, we are all afraid of texting the wrong thing, especially when we want to make a good impression.
But you can’t get better at texting by not texting. And there’s no way to know someone if you don’t start a conversation.
Understand that texts do not have a tone. So, to not be a dry texter, you have to capture your emotions. Use double alphabets, exclamation points, capital letters, and more to emphasize.