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The line between friendship and romantic love can sometimes be blurry. A lot of people even believe the opposite sex cannot be just friends. And it’s no wonder why. 

When we spend so much time with one person, it can be difficult to not start thinking about other things beyond just friendship. But how do you know if what you’re feeling is just a fling, an infatuation, or actual love? 

This is what we’ll explore in this article. So if you’re confused about what you feel towards your best friend, read till the end. 

The Difference Between Friendship And Romance

To understand the difference between friendship and romance, we need to first examine the fundamental aspects of each. 

Friendship is a deep bond between two people, built on trust, understanding, and a shared connection. Friends are there for each other through thick and thin, providing support, and companionship.

Romantic love, on the other hand, is characterized by a unique intensity and emotional connection that goes beyond friendship. It often involves physical and sexual attraction, emotional intimacy, and a desire to build a future together. 

While it shares some qualities with friendship, such as trust and understanding, romantic love adds another layer of complexity with its passionate nature and is often intense.

Assessing Your Feelings

When trying to determine if your feelings for your best friend have evolved into romantic love, take a moment to evaluate the emotions and desires that you experience. Some questions you may want to ask yourself include:

  1. Do you find yourself thinking about your best friend constantly, even when you’re not together?
  2. Have you noticed a shift in the way you view them, perhaps focusing more on their physical appearance or the way they make you feel?
  3. Do you feel a strong desire for physical closeness, such as holding hands, cuddling, or kissing?
  4. Are you envious or uncomfortable when they show interest in someone else romantically?

If you answered yes to these questions, your feelings may have taken a romantic turn. However, it’s important to remember that these emotions could also be temporary infatuation or an intensified version of your existing friendship.

[Related: Why Did He Kiss Me If We Are Just Friends?]

How to Really Tell if You Love Your Best Friend

Various signs can help you determine if you truly love your friend. 

However, understand that everyone’s experience is unique, and your feelings may manifest differently from the examples I’ve provided. 

1. Emotional Intensity and Consistency

One of the most significant differences between friendship and romantic love is the intensity and consistency of emotions. 

When you’re in love with someone, you may experience an overwhelming surge of affection, longing, and care for your friend. These feelings are often more profound and persistent than those experienced in a platonic friendship.

For example, you may find yourself daydreaming about your friend or eagerly awaiting your next meeting with a sense of excitement and anticipation. If you’re consistently experiencing these intense emotions, it could be a sign that you’re in love with your friend.

2. Physical Attraction and Desire for Intimacy

Physical attraction and the desire for intimacy are common hallmarks of romantic love. While it’s normal to appreciate the physical appearance of your friends, romantic love often involves a heightened sense of attraction and a longing for physical closeness. 

It might show in the form of a desire to hold hands, cuddle, or share affectionate touches that go beyond the realm of friendship.

For instance, if you’re continually drawn to your friend’s appearance or you find yourself wanting to be close to them in ways that you don’t with other friends, it could indicate that your feelings have become romantic.

[Also read: 13 Sure Signs Your Guy Friend Likes You]

3. Prioritizing Your Friend Above Others

Another sign that you may be in love with your friend is if you find yourself prioritizing them above others in your life. It’s common to value and prioritize our friends, romantic love however often involves a unique sense of importance and devotion to the person we love.

You may start feeling the urge to spend more time with your friend, even at the expense of other relationships or commitments. 

You may also find yourself making sacrifices for your friend or going out of your way to ensure their happiness and well-being. 

4. Jealousy 

While feeling a certain degree of protectiveness or concern for our friends seems natural, romantic love often involves an intensified sense of jealousy when the person we love shows interest in someone else or forms a close connection with another person.

If you find yourself feeling envious or uncomfortable when your friend is talking to someone they’re romantically interested in, or if you become anxious about losing their attention and affection to another person, it could be a sign that you’re in love with your friend. 

This type of jealousy stems from a deep emotional attachment and a desire to be the primary focus of your friend’s romantic affection.

[Interesting: 10 Reasons Why He Wants You When He Already Has a Girlfriend]

5. Envisioning a Future Together

When you’re in love with someone, it’s conventional to envision a future together. It could be imagining your lives intertwined in various ways, such as living together, getting married, or raising a family. 

Perhaps, you’ve found yourself daydreaming about a future with your friend or discussing long-term plans and goals together. It’s an indication that your feelings have evolved beyond friendship.

For example, if you catch yourself wondering how your friend would fit into your family dynamic or how your lives could merge in the future, it might be a sign that you’re in love with them.

6. Sexual Attraction 

When you’re sexually attracted to your friend, there’s a desire in you to be physically intimate with them in ways that go beyond the closeness you share with other friends. 

You’ll sometimes find yourself longing for sexual experiences, fantasizing about intimate moments, or feeling a magnetic pull toward your friend in situations that involve physical touch or proximity.

However, keep in mind that sexual attraction alone does not necessarily equate to being in love with your friend. 

People can experience sexual attraction without the emotional depth and commitment associated with romantic love. In some cases, it may simply be a physical response or infatuation that doesn’t involve deeper emotional feelings.

To determine if you’re in love with your friend, it’s crucial to consider other factors in addition to sexual attraction, such as emotional intensity, a desire for intimacy, prioritizing your friend above others, and envisioning a future together. 

[Related: 15 Sure Signs He Likes You But Is Hiding It]

Navigating the Transition

If you’ve determined that your feelings for your best friend may be romantic, then approach the situation with care and consideration. 

Before confessing your love, take some time to reflect on the potential outcomes and whether you’re willing to risk your friendship for a romantic relationship. If you decide to move forward, communicate with your friend about your feelings.

Keep in mind that they may not share the same romantic feelings for you, and be prepared for the possibility of rejection. 

If they do reciprocate your emotions, then great news for you. But navigate the transition from friendship to romance gradually. Remember, your relationship has evolved, and it may take time to adjust to your new dynamic.


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  • Featured Image by gpointstudio from Freepik

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Destiny Femi

Destiny Femi is a dating coach whose work has helped transform the love lives of countless people. With a writing style that is both insightful and relatable, Destiny has amassed a following of hundreds of thousands of readers who turn to him for advice on everything from finding the perfect partner to maintaining a healthy relationship. Through his articles he has inspired people around the world to become more confident, authentic, and successful in their dating life.

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