Have you ever found yourself scrolling through your Instagram feed, only to stumble upon a photo of your man and his ex looking a little too cozy for comfort?
Or maybe you’ve heard your partner mention his ex’s name in conversation more times than you’d like?
It’s a tricky situation to be in, and it’s natural to wonder if your partner still has feelings for his former flame.
In this article, we’ll explore the signs that your partner may still be hung up on his ex, and what you can do about it.
1. He talks about her frequently.
When you care about someone, they tend to pop up in your conversations a lot. It’s like they’re always on your mind, and you just can’t help but bring them up in conversation with others.
While it’s completely normal and expected for us to mention our exes once in a while, if your partner is constantly talking about his ex, it might be a sign that they’re not over them yet.
It means she’s still a big part of his life and he’s emotionally invested in her, even if they’re no longer together. This is why her name is always on his lips.
2. He’s reluctant to let go of mementos and memories.
For instance, you’ve noticed that he’s reluctant to let go of a box of old love letters and pictures from his ex-girlfriend. And whenever you bring up the idea of getting rid of them or storing them away, he gets defensive and insists that he wants to keep them.
Now, memories from a past relationship can be incredibly nostalgic. When we create meaningful experiences with someone, it can be difficult to let go of those memories, even if the relationship itself has ended. And that’s understandable.
But here’s the thing: The guy choosing to start a relationship with you should mean that he’s ready to move on. Starting something with you should be the end of his past relationships.
So, if a guy is reluctant to let go of mementos and memories from his past relationship, it’s likely a sign that he still loves his ex.
Maybe he holds onto those things as a way to keep the memories alive and remind him of the good times they shared. He’s trying to hold onto a piece of that relationship, even though it’s over.
[Also read: 7 Signs Your Boyfriend Wants to Breakup (Even if He isn’t Saying it)
3. He compares you to her often.
Imagine you and your partner are sitting down for dinner when he suddenly blurts out, “You know, my ex used to make this dish way better than you.” Ouch, right?
When someone compares you to their ex often, it could be a red flag that they’re still hung up on their past relationship. They’re holding their ex on a pedestal and unfairly measuring you up against her. And it’s frustrating and hurtful to feel like you’re constantly falling short in your partner’s eyes.
Now, it’s natural to have some nostalgia and fond memories of a past relationship, but when your partner can’t seem to let go and keeps bringing up their ex in comparison to you, it’s a sign that they may still have strong feelings for their former flame.
In a healthy relationship, you should feel appreciated and valued for who you are, not constantly compared to someone else.
4. He still has feelings of jealousy toward her.
Jealousy is a sign of love and attachment. And when a guy still has feelings for his ex, he’ll feel jealous when he sees her with someone else or when he thinks about her moving on without him.
For instance, you’re out with him having a good time when his ex shows up across the room with another guy. And immediately you notice his mood change. He keeps looking in their direction, jealous and distracted. That’s a huge red flag.
Think about it like this: when we care deeply about someone, we want to be the only one who gets to enjoy their love, attention, and affection.
We don’t want anyone else to have what we have with them, and the thought of them being intimate with someone else can be hard to bear.
[Related: 10 Signs Your Ex is Pretending to Be Over You]
5. He still keeps in touch with her regularly.
Sometimes people stay friends with an ex, especially if they’ve had a long history together.
But if the communication is happening frequently and seems to be more than just a casual catch-up, it could be a sign that your partner is still emotionally invested in his ex.
It’s like they’re keeping one foot in the past and one foot in the present. And insinuates that they’re not fully committed to moving forward because they’re still holding onto something from their past.
The thing is if you’re truly in love with someone, you’re not going to want to risk jeopardizing that relationship by keeping up regular communication with an ex. It’s not worth it.
So if your partner is prioritizing their ex over you in terms of communication, it’s worth having a conversation about why that is and whether they’re truly ready to move on.
6. He’s emotionally invested in her life.
Every time you’re with him, you notice that he seems to be constantly checking their phone and getting messages from her. He laughs at her jokes, offers advice on her problems, and seems to be just as emotionally invested in their life as they were when they were together.
And even when they’re not chatting, he talks about her all the time, asks about her day, and seems to be constantly checking her out on social media.
If you notice this kind of obsession or investment from your man in his ex, it means he’s not over her yet.
[Interesting: 6 Signs They Are Not “The One” For You]
7. He prioritizes her over you.
Your actions and choices reflect where your priorities lie. If a guy is consistently putting his ex’s needs or desires above yours, it could be a sign that he still has strong feelings for her.
For instance, if he drops everything to attend to her needs or cancels plans with you to hang out with her, it suggests that he still values her more than he values you.
Let’s say you’ve made plans with him to have a nice date night together. You’re looking forward to spending some quality time with them and enjoying each other’s company.
But then, out of nowhere, your partner gets a call from their ex and suddenly, everything changes. They cancel your plans and tell you that they need to go take care of something for their ex. You’re left feeling disappointed and wondering what’s going on.
If you see a pattern like this, just move on.
8. He tries to make her jealous or get her attention.
When a guy is still in love with his ex, he might feel the need to prove something to her – that he’s moved on, that he’s happy with his new partner, or that he’s doing better without her.
He might do this by intentionally making her jealous, perhaps by flaunting his new relationship or showing off in some other way. In fact, some guys might even go as far as jumping into a new relationship just to make their ex feel jealous.
This behavior is often a sign that he’s still not over his ex, and he’s trying to get her attention and reaction as a way of validating his feelings. And sometimes it can be exhausting to the girl he’s now dating because she’ll feel used when she notices it.
[Also read: 10 Reasons He Keeps You Around But Doesn’t Want A Relationship]
9. He seems to be stuck in the past and unable to fully commit to you.
If he’s still pining after his ex, it’s going to be hard for him to fully invest in a new relationship. He may be holding back emotionally or struggling to make a genuine connection with you because his heart is still with his ex.
Maybe he’s still holding onto memories of his ex, checking them out on social media, rereading the conversations they heard when they were together, and still nursing the idea of being with her.
Whatever the reason, his inability to fully move on is likely keeping him from giving his all to your relationship.
This is like trying to plant a new seed in soil that’s already occupied by another plant’s roots. The new seed may struggle to grow and thrive because it’s competing for resources with the old plant. In the same way, if a guy is still emotionally tied to his ex, it can be hard for him to fully invest in a new relationship.
10. He gets defensive or upset when you ask about their ex.
When someone gets defensive or upset when you bring up a topic, it usually means that the topic hits a nerve in them.
Don’t get me wrong, sometimes it’s natural to feel a bit defensive when someone asks you about your ex. After all, it’s a topic that can bring up a lot of emotions, memories, and potentially difficult conversations.
However, if your partner consistently gets defensive or upset when you bring up their ex, it could be a sign that they still have unresolved feelings for them.
Think about it: if they truly had moved on and were happy in their current relationship with you, they wouldn’t feel the need to get defensive or upset when their ex comes up in conversation.
Instead, they would be able to talk about their past relationships calmly and openly, without feeling threatened or defensive.
So, if you notice that your partner reacts strongly to any mention of their ex, it may be worth exploring those feelings further and having an honest conversation about where they’re at emotionally.
Perhaps they’re not ready to let go of the past or they feel guilty about something that happened in their previous relationship.
Seeing signs that your man still has feelings for his ex isn’t easy to deal with. In fact, depending on the degree and the intensity of his feelings for her, you could be looking at ending the relationship.
But of course, before making any decision, the best step is always to call him out on what you’re noticing and talking about it like mature people. The way he responds will determine whether or not it’s worth moving on with the relationship.
The bottom line is that you can’t be in a relationship with someone who is still hooked on love with their ex. That’s not a good position to be in. We all deserve someone who will fully commit to us.
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