When my friend, Jamie, had just met his girlfriend, Myra, he was a wreck. They had been going out for about two months and loved hanging out. He was convinced of his affection for her and wanted to take things to the next level.
But does she feel the same way?
People often say you will just know when someone loves you, but sometimes, it isn’t always true. And for men like Jamie, who always want to be 100% sure of a lady’s feelings before taking the deep plunge, they need more signs.
As a woman, though, I gave Jamie some sound advice, which worked. In relationships, especially new ones, women are more skeptical about outrightly confessing their love. But since actions speak louder, you can always watch what she does instead of waiting for a confession.
According to research, men have evolved to fall in love first and show commitment in a romantic relationship. Even in long-term relationships, a woman can withdraw her love confessions if she feels like a man is no longer committed to her. That said, here are ten things women do when they genuinely love you:
1. She is generous and caring to you
Women are natural givers and caretakers. According to studies, women find it very rewarding to give and share resources because a part of their brain called the striatum is activated when they share. And this reward is even higher when someone they love is involved.
A woman’s biological inclination is to be a nurturer, so if you’re not getting that vibe from her, it means she doesn’t have feelings for you.
Some ways a woman can be generous are taking you out to eat, noting the home essentials you’re missing and then buying them, organizing your house, helping you care for your skin, and so many more. Just bear all these in mind the next you’re confused about whether she genuinely loves you.
2. She cares about your loved ones
If you want to know whether the woman you’re attracted to genuinely loves you, this is one sure way to find out. Your family is important to you, and someone who loves you will also make them important. She will treat your family with respect and love whenever she comes across them.
If your family doesn’t stay close to you, you might not get an opportunity to see how she acts around them, but there are other ways around it.
Does she ask questions about them? Is she interested in how your brother got his nickname? Or how your sister is doing in college? If she shows interest in their well-being, she cares about you.
Related: 9 Signs She’s Pretending to Love You
3. Her eyes tell you
The hormones —oxytocin and phenylethylamine—are love drugs, and according to this research, they are released into the bloodstream during eye contact with someone we love. It also increases feelings of passion and intimacy.
There are many ways to show you love someone, one of which is eye contact. An ancient adage says, “the eyes are the windows to the soul,” and when we look into someone’s eyes, it’s easy to understand what it means. If you don’t like someone, you won’t spare them more than a second’s glance. It goes for both men and women.
Women are more conservative than men, and you won’t catch them staring at you except if they are attracted. However, if the stare becomes more frequent and longer, it’s because she is addicted to the release of love hormones she gets when she looks at you. If this doesn’t spell love, I don’t know what does.
4. She indulges you
A woman who doesn’t like you will not tolerate your misdemeanors or excesses. And this is because she doesn’t see herself with you and will take the slightest opportunity to walk out the door and never come back.
However, a woman that genuinely loves you will do the opposite. I’m not saying a woman in love will become a doormat, but before she eventually leaves, she will give you as many chances as humanly possible to change. She will be patient with you.
But some men make the mistake of taking this patience for granted. Don’t ever take a woman’s love for granted just because you know she might give you another chance. Like they always say, “Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned.”
5. She gets jealous
When she starts acting up when you hang out with other females, then you can tell she’s absolutely in love with you and wants you all to herself.
According to this research article by Dr. Kate Raynes-Goldie, jealousy stems when someone feels threatened by the introduction of a rival in their relationship, especially in cases where commitment is expected.
When she isn’t that serious about you, she won’t take the threat of a rival as a big deal.
If you’re attracted to a lady, and you want to know where she stands before taking the relationship further, then try hanging out with another woman and notice her mood soon after. Jealousy is always a valid indicator.
6. She’s interested in your growth
A woman that doesn’t love you will not be interested in any activity you have going on in your life. A woman that genuinely loves you, however, is the opposite.
Not only will she ask questions about what’s going on with you, but she will also truly be interested in your answers.
The details are also important. Does she remember the things you told her about your work? Is she empathetic when you’re down?
If you tell her you’re down, how quickly does she show up for you? All these questions are a great way to figure out where you stand in a woman’s life. As I earlier mentioned, a woman is intolerant of a man she has no feelings for. The moment you notice she pays attention to you and asks questions, then she’s in love.
7. She sticks with you through dark times
When circumstances get dark, and life becomes a mess, that girl that sticks with you through it all is one that is in love with you. According to social psychologist Theresa DiDonato,
“Individuals who are more engaged in costly commitment signsals are more oriented toward a long term relationship with their partner.”
It can be difficult to stick beside someone going through a rough patch. It’s hard because, at that point, their emotions are high; they are either breaking down or lashing out; they no longer love or appreciate themselves, so there is no way they could extend such grace to you. But if a girl is in love, she will be your comfort despite all these.
Not only will she treat you like a king at these trying moments, but she will also care for you like a mother.
8. She’s emotionally invested in the relationship
You might do hurtful things to her, and she won’t bat an eyelid, but do something that directly affects your well-being negatively and watch her get furious—for instance, skipping classes, taking too much alcohol, not taking time out to eat, or even skipping your prescriptions when you’re ill.
She would not tolerate any of these behaviors because it harms your life, and she doesn’t want to put you at risk. These are things women do when they are genuinely in love with you.
If she doesn’t love you, she would not mind all these things because she doesn’t care about your well-being. You must pay attention to all these intricate details.
9. She will not take advantage of you
You might meet a deceptive woman who pretends about her feelings for you, but one way you’ll uncover her act is by noting the demands she puts on you, especially when she never does anything in return.
Genuine love is not selfish, and a woman who loves you will not place outrageous demands on you.
Although women like romantic men, they don’t like it when their men spend overboard or make uncomfortable compromises for them. They think about your comfort and happiness first and would make sure they are not always on the receiving end of gifts and affection.
10. She makes compromises
Everyone loves their comfort zone, which makes compromises very hard, even in long-term relationships. However, a woman in love with you will always be willing to compromise to make the relationship work.
Compromises include the willingness to change habits that you complain about, the willingness to apologize quickly and honestly when she’s wrong, the ability to respect your beliefs and decisions, and so on. When you find a woman that is willing to do all these for you, it means she genuinely loves you.
Nowadays, anyone can say “I love you,” even when they don’t mean it. However, these ten points listed above are things women (or men) do when they genuinely love you. There is no faking it because they aren’t effortless acts. Only a woman that cares will be willing to put in the effort to do any or all of those things.
No matter how attracted you are to a woman, the feeling should be mutual before taking further steps. Don’t be deceived by empty love confessions without actions to back them up; it will only lead to heartbreak. When you are certain she feels the same way, you can take the relationship forward and be happy.
Also read: 7 Signs You’re In The Right Relationship