While I was working as the Head of the Accounts Department at work, there was this intern, Jenny. Jenny was a great girl, but I thought she was rather too shy because anytime I tried to start a conversation with her, she just clams up.
I eventually stopped trying. Years later, at a business ssoirée, she eventually told me she admires and looks up to me. She explained that because of that she was always nervous to speak to me.
We laughed about it, but I wished I had known earlier, and maybe I would have handled the situation a little differently, and found a better way to draw her closer.
We would meet so many people who admire us for so many reasons, and even if they don’t say it, you surely want to know. So here are some signs someone secretly admires you:
1. They make eye contact
When you notice there is someone whose attention is always on you, then you might have a secret admirer. This will include a lot of shy eye contact, always showing up wherever you are, nervous smiles, and so on.
If your secret admirer is at your workplace, you may look up from your desk and catch them staring often, or you’ll notice they walk past your desk too many times while trying to start a conversation.
A secret admirer might try to stay very secret by avoiding all forms of eye contact. If you do catch them staring, they will immediately look away and pretend to be engrossed in some other activity. But this is one of the sure signs that they do admire you.
2. They do things for you
The world is moving very fast these days, and people are always busy. However, there are people who, even with their busy schedules, will go out of their way to do thoughtful things for you without expecting anything in return.
Jenny and I worked in completely different departments at work, but every morning, she always made sure to bring me a cup of coffee on the way to her desk.
For a long time, I just thought she was a diligent intern, but after her confession, I realized it was because she admires me. Her desk was on the opposite wing of the building, but she didn’t mind and would always make sure my coffee got to me in time.
Pay attention to people who do thoughtful things for you, and you just might find your secret admirer.
Related: How to Be Effortlessly Charming
3. They notice the little things
Even on days when you don’t feel 100% yourself, someone who admires you will shower you with compliments.
Now compliments are simply good-natured remarks that you could get from anybody, but the depth of the compliment can determine whether such a person secretly admires you or not.
For instance, someone says, “Oh, you look beautiful today,” or “Your dress is so lovely.” These are nice compliments.
But someone who admires you will put more depth because they are constantly watching everything you do. “Oh, you look beautiful today. Is it a new foundation? It’s in the exact shade of your skin, it suits you perfectly!” Or “Your dress is so lovely, is it a new one? You must love brown, you have so many beautiful dresses in that shade!”
Someone who secretly admires you is constantly watching so they always notice when you are wearing or doing something different, and they are ever ready to shower you with the cutest compliments.
4. They extra self-conscious around you
According to science, when someone gets nervous, it’s because they have detected something or someone in their environment that they find desirable or admirable. This causes their dopamine and norepinephrine level to increase, and heighten their focus, which leads to stress and anxiety.
Have you tried speaking to someone and they completely clam up with nerves? They’re stuttering, and are unable to string more than two words together? It’s either they are very shy, or they admire you. If you pay close attention, you will be able to tell which one it is.
When you notice someone is anxious when speaking to you, do your best to help them relax by smiling reassuringly at them, and asking simple questions until they’re no longer stressed.
Interesting: 5 Signs Someone Is Secretly Jealous of You
5. They respect you
It’s tough to have any decent conversation these days, especially because people have strong and differing opinions about a lot of stuff.
You can say, “It is important to get your vaccine,” and someone will be like, “Are you dumb? Why did you get your vaccine?” You can also say, “I’m not in support of the vaccination movement,” and people will be like “Are you dumb? Why won’t you get the vaccine?”
There’s just a lot of controversy going on these days, and you can’t blame anyone.
However, amidst all these, when there’s someone who seeks to amplify your voice and hear you, then you are secretly admired. Admiration and respect always go together because the same things that make us deeply admire people will also make us also respect them.
This doesn’t mean they will always agree with you, but even in disagreements, they will give you respect and hold your opinions in high reverence.
6. They genuinely smile at you
When someone smiles at you, it is possible to tell if it’s a real or fake one. This scientific phenomenon is explained by a French Scientist, Guillaume Duchenne, who studied laughter and smiling.
He explained that two sets of muscles are involved in smiling and laughing: one around the eyes, and one around the mouth. When the smile is fake, only the muscles around the mouth are involved. When it’s real, both are involved.
A secret admirer is always genuinely smiling at you because they’re so happy to see you. Their mouth widens, and their eyes crinkle happily whenever you enter the room. They might not outrightly tell you they like you, but their smile is very genuine, and you can’t help but notice.
7. They try to impress you
There was this professor of mine I always admired in college. He was young, brilliant, and very successful. I thought it was quite impressive.
Whenever we had a chance meeting, I would tell him all about myself, while adding details that made my life seem better than it really is. I wanted to match him and impress him with all I had going on because I was equally impressed by him.
Whenever you admire someone, it is just natural that you want the person to like you. So when you notice there is someone who always gives you information about themselves, you might want to pay close attention.
Admirers will tell you anything, about their dogs, about their siblings, about their favorite food, just anything to make them feel closer to you.
8. They remember things you said
With the internet growing wider by the second, the world is moving very fast and the rate at which we consume information is increasing daily.
Amidst all these, if there is someone who keeps up with conversations with you, and remembers all the things you say, then you’ve got yourself an admirer.
A secret admirer remembers everything you say, regardless of how inconsequential it was at the time. They’ll ask if you got a new wall decoration because they heard your wall clock fell and broke.
They’ll ask if you got a new stretcher because they randomly heard you complain about a slight back ache. This happens because they are always paying full attention to you, and tend to catch even the littlest things you say.
9. They buy gifts
For the longest time, presents have always been a way of showing affection and admiration to people. But these days, we don’t have to wait till it’s their birthday or Christmas, people buy gifts all the time for those they respect and admire.
A secret admirer will always take advantage of any occasion to bring you something that will put a smile on your face.
This could be a cup of coffee like Jenny used to bring me every morning, or it could be a new pen after they noticed you’ve misplaced yours. It doesn’t have to be something expensive, but a secret admirer will always find joy in doing all these things for you.
If you’re having suspicions about someone being your secret admirer, these are valid signs that will help you uncover who that person is. When you finally find out, always remember to be courteous to them regardless of how you feel about it.
People admire us for a lot of reasons, but mainly because they honor us and think we have something they don’t. If they are shy about it, always try to diffuse the situation, and keep things under control. Wear a smile always and remember to say, “thank you.”