When your girlfriend isn’t sexually attracted to you, you’re going to feel it. Sometimes the signs will be obvious. But because you wished the contrary was the case, you’ll pretend like it isn’t happening. 

There are two reasons why sexual attraction in a relationship dies: 

First, the natural decay that set’s into any form of relationship with time has caught up with you and your partner, and it’s up to you to simply find creative ways to spice things up. 

Second, she doesn’t find you as attractive as you thought. 

Whatever the case may be for you, the signs are still the same — though the solution isn’t. And we shall discuss how to navigate these two unique situations at the end of the article. 

With that said, here are 10 signs that your girlfriend isn’t sexually attracted to you. 


1. You’re always the one who makes the first move

You’re always making the first move, touching, kissing, and caressing her. 

And even when you make the first move, it’s difficult for her to respond. Sometimes you even feel like you’re disturbing her with your advances as she looks distracted and uninterested. 

This is a huge red flag. 

If she never makes the first move towards sex with you, then it’s a sign that she never thinks of it. 

When we like someone, we find it difficult to stay with them for a long time without wanting to get intimate. This is a natural reaction that we can’t control. Being close to and touching someone we find attractive floods our brains with oxytocin. 

And oxytocin, according to studies, makes us feel good. This is why being with your partner should be exciting and fun — that’s if you still like each other. 

2. There’s zero chemistry during sex 

Chemistry isn’t hard to notice. You feel it in how you look into each other’s eyes and the way you breathe anxiously on each other’s necks. 

You see it in the attention that you pay to each other’s bodies. It’s in the pauses and the synch with which you both hug each other and press yourselves together as though you want to literally become one. 

But when sexual attraction is dead, you won’t notice these things. 

Instead, what you’ll see is a distracted girlfriend who couldn’t care less about locking eyes with you or kissing you passionately during sex. The whole thing will feel like a chore she needs to get over with, not a process she should cherish and enjoy. 


Related: 8 Signs She Doesn’t Like You


3. You sense some irritation and meanness frequently 

Love usually comes with tenderness. 

When we like someone, we don’t want to hurt them. Hence, we’re careful about how we correct them and the things we say to them. This is because being attracted to someone makes us more empathetic to them. 

But when your girlfriend isn’t attracted to you anymore, you may notice meanness that you cannot shake off. 

For instance, in the process of getting intimate, she may give a harsh comment about how you touch her, telling you that you don’t know how to do anything right, push you away and walk out on you. 

That’s irritation. And we only act that way to people we’d rather not be with. 

4. She never reciprocates your sexual advances 

It’s one thing that she never initiates lovemaking, but it’s something else that she doesn’t even reciprocate your sexual advances. If you see this, it’s a huge sign that your girlfriend isn’t sexually attracted to you. 

You can tell by how she responds to your touch and your kisses. Does she suddenly seem too busy or distracted? It’s okay if this happens once in a while. We can’t be in sync with our partners’ hormones all the time.

However, if this happens frequently, and you notice some form of irritation in how she turns you down, then it could mean she isn’t attracted to you anymore. 

5. She frequently chooses to pleasure herself over sex with you 

One of the reasons you’re dating is for her to come to you when she needs romantic or sexual attention. 

But if she frequently turns to masturbation or porn, it’s either because she’s addicted or she can’t stand sex with you. 

Either way, it’s a red flag. 

However, this could also be a sign that she isn’t satisfied with your performance in bed. Check for clusters of other signs to be sure she’s doing it because she isn’t attracted to you. 


Interesting: 9 Signs She’s Pretending to Love You


6. There’s no playful touch 

The playful touch is the seductive and flirty brush on your shoulders. It’s her urge to run her hands through your body wherever you go shirtless. It’s the tap in the booty whenever your girlfriend walks by you looking hot. 

The playful touch is a strong sign of attraction because couples who genuinely find each other sexually attractive find it difficult to keep their hands off each other. 

Hence, they always find ways to touch themselves in playful ways. This is also partly because touching someone we find attractive floods our brains with oxytocin, which makes us feel good.

However, when your girlfriend isn’t sexually attracted to you, she’ll have zero enthusiasm to touch you. Even when you playfully touch her, she may respond coldly or even take offense. 

7. She checks out other guys 

You might see her getting lustful looking at Instagram photos of hot dudes. She might also still be on dating apps, looking for opportunities to exit the relationship. 

Sure, it’s okay to admire other people when you’re in a relationship. We don’t have control over that for the most part. 

However, a girl who wants you to know she’s no longer interested will take this a step further. She may flirt with guys sometimes, give her number out, chat with them regularly while giving you a cold shoulder, and maybe even go out on dates. 

8. She frequently makes excuses to not get intimate 

From “I’m busy” or “I’m too tired” to “I’m sleepy” or “it’s too hot,” she’ll constantly make excuses for not having sex with you. 

And you can tell she’s just avoiding you because when she does have the time, she’ll never initiate contact. But once you make the first move, she either turns you down or makes excuses. 


Also read: 10 Things Women Do When They Genuinely Love You


9. She doesn’t make any effort to look sexy or attractive to you

This is one of the most subtle signs. But it’s a huge red flag if you notice it. 

When a girl isn’t sexually attracted to you, she won’t feel any motivation whatsoever to make herself look sexier and attractive to you. Why? 

Well, first of all, she doesn’t want anything from you.

Secondly, she doesn’t care what you think of her. 

And thirdly, she doesn’t mind losing you. 

A girl that still finds you charming will always find pride in looking her best for you. Whenever you look at her and get lustful in her beauty, she feels good. She wants your compliments. And she’ll always want to up her game to keep the relationship alive and still look hot for you. 

A girl who isn’t sexually attracted to you, on the other hand, doesn’t have any interest in seducing you. This is partly why she will never make any attempt to look physically attracted to you. 

10. She isn’t interested in spending time with you

One of the best signs that we like someone is that we want to see more of them. 

We’ll make date plans with them. And even cancel plans if there’s a need just to have some quality time with them. This is the best sign of physical and emotional attraction. 

Someone who likes you wants to see more of you. 

On the other hand, someone who doesn’t like you wants to see as little of you as possible. And this is because your energy isn’t appealing to them. And this negative energy makes them want to stay away from you. 

Hence, if you notice that your girlfriend often finds excuses to stay away, you might want to watch out. 

When someone stops desiring you, they start to pull away little by little. 


Final words

If the only problem in your relationship is the decline in sexual attraction, then all you have to do is sit and have a conversation about what to do about it. 

Relationships are not always rosy, and there are going to be times when certain aspects of your relationship will not be at their ideal. This is normal. Just like any other problem, you talk about it and find solutions to it. 

However, sometimes, a lack of sexual attraction comes from an underlying problem. It could be that she’s generally not interested in you or the relationship anymore. In this case, she’s simply just waiting for the right time to take the exit. 

If this is the case with you, then you might want to have a difficult conversation together so that you both can find your way to a more fulfilling relationship for both of you. 

In some cases, a girl might also lose sexual attraction toward her boyfriend because she isn’t satisfied with his performance in bed. If this is the case, and you know it, then it’s up to you to find ways to get better in bed. 

Lastly, there’s always the solution to seek professional help if you think it’s what your relationship needs. 


Also read: How to Make a Woman Desire You Sexually


  • Featured image via Freepik

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