We’ve all been there. You’ve got a crush, a hottie, a bae, a boo, or whatever you call them. And you’re doing everything you can to get their attention, but they don’t even give you the time of day.
Immediately you get their attention, they quickly look away. This happens a lot. And to make matters worse, it’s hard to tell why different people do this.
But I’ll uncover the various reasons why this may happen. And I’ll also tell you how to go about it the right way.
Besides understanding why your crush is avoiding eye contact with you, you’ll also get to understand a lot of things about human nature if you read this thoroughly. Let’s get into it.
1. Your crush doesn’t know what to do
Sometimes it’s not that they’re shy, socially anxious, or that they don’t like you. It’s just that they don’t know what to do.
Some people don’t have enough experience with the opposite sex to know what to do after eye contact. And this also depends on the age grade of your crush as well.
When a girl makes steady eye contact with a mature guy, for instance, he already knows what’s going on and what to do about it. Why? He’s been in situations like that several times and understands how to go about it.
But if your crush is still in high school, that’s a different story. It could be that he sees your attempts to get his attention, but doesn’t just know what to do about it.
2. Lack of interest
From personal experience, the only reason why I would avoid eye contact with a girl who is showing interest is that I’m just not interested. And I’m sure it’s the same for most people.
If your crush is mature enough to understand what your eye contact means, and they’re seeing in your body language that you’re trying to get their attention but they still ignore you, then there’s just a high chance they’re not interested in you.
You can sense this by how they ignore you altogether. For instance, they won’t smile at you or respond to any of your advances. Basically, you’ll get negative body language from them towards you.
If you’re sensing this from your crush, then it’s better to just move on. They’re not interested.
Shyness is also a major reason why your crush may avoid eye contact with you. But how can you tell this is the reason?
Well, shy people are not really hard to notice. You’ll see the signs. They’ll become overly self-conscious when you’re close to them. They may look confused, say the wrong thing, or make self-deprecating humor out of impulse.
And shy people are already naturally nervous in social interactions. Now add that to engaging with someone they may have a crush on. It’s like standing on fire.
So if you notice the signs of shyness like sheepish smiling when you lock eyes, sweating, self-consciousness, blushing at compliments, etc., know that the reason why your crush isn’t making eye contact is that they’re shy.
4. They also have a crush on you
Having a crush on someone can make it nerve-wracking to interact with them, especially if you’re still young.
Sure, most mature people can handle themselves quite alright. But if you’re still young, then the emotional pull and the need to impress are 10x higher. You want to say the right thing, make them laugh, and do all sorts of things.
Hence, your crush may avoid eye contact with you because they are too self-conscious around you. Looking at you makes them nervous. Maybe he/she has been thinking of how to approach you too.
Maybe they’re subtly making eye contact, hoping that you’ll also notice and make the first move.
To tell if your crush also has a crush on you, watch how they behave around you. Do they seem flustered? Like they’re too concerned about making a good impression? Are they kind to you? Do they sometimes smile when your eyes lock?
These are the common signs that they also like you.
[Also read: 13 Sure Signs Your Guy Friend Likes You]
5. Social anxiety
Some people with social anxiety often feel incredibly self-conscious and worried about what others think of them.
They might feel like they’re being constantly judged, which can make any social interaction incredibly nerve-wracking. Eye contact, in particular, can feel especially intimidating and uncomfortable for someone with social anxiety.
So, if your crush is someone who struggles with social anxiety, they may be avoiding eye contact with you because they feel too anxious or self-conscious to make direct eye contact.
Does this mean they like you? Maybe. But you’ll have to check for other signs to be sure. If he/she is socially anxious, they’re probably the same way with everyone, not just you. This is different from being self-conscious around because they like you.
6. They’re afraid of messing things up
Sometimes you can just like someone so much that you become confused about what to do when you’re around them. You’re thinking of the perfect word to say.
This could be what your crush is going through. She may be too worried, asking herself, “What if you come around? What is she going to do?” Should she say Hi? Or tell you you’re looking good today?
These things can be confusing. And the more we like someone, the more we care about making the best impression on them. But oftentimes, this need to impress them makes us misbehave.
We feel insecure for different reasons. Some people are not very proud of their height.
Some don’t think they’re good-looking enough, others feel they’re not from the best family so they try to hide or run away from those parts of themselves that they’re not very proud of.
Hence, when you try to make eye contact with an insecure person, they look away because they don’t want to be vulnerable. It’s as if making direct eye contact with someone makes them feel exposed to judgment.
If you’ve ever felt insecure about anything in your life, you’ll understand how this works.
For instance, someone who doesn’t feel they’re good-looking enough will easily be intimidated by another good-looking person.
So one of the reasons your crush could be avoiding eye contact with you can be that he or she is insecure about something. Maybe you intimidate them, or they don’t think they have good social skills to make you like them.
[Interesting: 15 Possible Reasons Why Your Boyfriend Is Ignoring You]
8. They don’t want to lead you on
Your crush may ignore you because he/she doesn’t want to raise your hopes or play mind games and then disappoint you in the end.
Some people enjoy the attention you give them, and act interested, only for you to find out that they are already in a relationship. You end up brokenhearted because you had your hopes up.
In reality, not all crushes are going to be single. Sometimes you’ll just crush on someone who’s already taken, and they may avoid your advances because they’re not looking for a relationship at the moment. Nothing personal.
9. It could just be that your crush doesn’t notice you
This one’s a bit of a harsh reality, but we can’t deny that it’s very much a possibility. Just because you have a crush on someone doesn’t mean they’re automatically aware of it.
Sure, they may have locked eyes with you at some point, but that still doesn’t mean that they notice you. People lock eyes with each other all the time, and he or she could have taken it to not be a big deal when they locked eyes with you.
If this is the case, then it’s possible that they’re avoiding eye contact with you because they can’t sense that anything is going on.
10. Hiding their feelings
Maybe your crush doesn’t want to make it known to everyone that he/she also has feelings for you. This is especially true if your crush is a shy person who isn’t used to getting that type of attention.
He may just decide to keep it low while waiting for the right time to take things further with you. This is why sometimes, your crush might avoid you in public, but when they get a chance to spend time with you privately, they’ll treat you nicely.
Though, this could sometimes mean they’re ashamed of you. You need to check for other signs in their nature to know for sure if this is why they’re avoiding eye contact.
What are the signs that your crush likes you?
As you now know, your crush avoiding eye contact with you could either be a good thing or a bad thing. Hence, we need to check for other signs to be sure of where you stand with your crush.
With that said, here are some signs that your crush is also attracted to you.
They smile when they catch your gauze
Someone who is attracted to you will most likely be flattered to have you look at them. Even if they’re shy, you’ll see the microexpression of joy on their face when they catch you looking at them.
Body language can be a great indicator of attraction. If your crush is attracted to you, they might unconsciously lean in closer to you when you’re talking, face their body towards you, or mirror your movements.
They’ll also use positive body language, such as smiling or laughing, to show that they’re interested in what you have to say. In a nutshell, they’ll be welcoming whenever it has to do with you.
On the other hand, if your crush is not attracted to you, they might display negative body language, such as crossing their arms or avoiding physical contact.
If your crush is interested in you, they might make an effort to spend time with you and get to know you better.
They might ask you questions about your life, your interests, and your goals, and they might share personal details about themselves as well. They might also make an effort to be near you, whether it’s sitting next to you in classes or joining you for lunch at work.
[Also read: How to Make Your Crush Like You]
Physical touch is a powerful way to show attraction. It could be a casual touch on the arm or shoulder, or they might lean in closer to you when you’re talking.
They might also make an effort to create physical contact, such as brushing past you or standing closer to you than necessary. These kinds of touches can create a sense of intimacy and connection, and they’re a clear indication that your crush is interested in you.
Someone who likes you will usually make an effort to stay in touch with you, whether it’s through texting, social media, or in person. They might send you messages just to say hi, or they might ask you out on a date to get to know you better.
He/she might also make an effort to keep the conversation going, even if it means finding new topics to talk about.
You’ll often see how they appreciate you by how they quickly tell you how good-looking you are. This is because they find you attractive and they want you to know.
Remembering little details
They might remember little details about your life that you’ve shared with them, such as your favorite movie, book, or music artist. And they’ll sometimes bring up these topics in conversation to show that they’ve been paying attention and to learn more about your interests.
Finally, one of the most obvious signs that someone is attracted to you is if they flirt with you. If he is constantly teasing you, playfully touching you, or making suggestive comments, it’s a clear indication that they are interested in you.
If you don’t see any of these signs or any other positive signs of attraction from your crush, it’s either they’re not aware of how you feel about them, or they don’t feel the same way about you.
[Related: 15 Cute Things to Say to Your Crush]